It’s been way too long since I’ve been giddy and in love. I haven’t smiled at my phone in ages. I haven’t had What’sApp video chats with a boy right before falling asleep, clean faced and hugging Pooh Bear. I haven’t had a boy send me a playlist in who knows how long?

I put my heart on ice last October. And it’s still not over that guy. But I think I’m ready for a complication. A confidant. A co-conspirator. A crush. A closeness. A cherished.

It’ll never be the 🦄, no matter what we call what we have. For the ice queen I am, it is the heart of a poet I desire. A philosopher. A man who offers his back to the street and asks me if I am more comfortable with him shielding me.

I am. You do. It’s all I ever wanted.