It’s not living if it’s not with you

Date was postponed for tomorrow night. The Bowery Electric. Ty Segall. Good thing because I need live music in my life.

I honestly don’t date that much. Or rather, I’m not really sleeping with anybody. It’s hard to love the one you’re with when you can’t be with the one you love. Not that I love anyone. I just want to be loving someone. It seems like everything I think lately is a 1975 lyric.

I got LCD lights for my room. They’re not fancy. Just a strip of lights that change color using a remote. I got them on Amazon for $35. The first person I showed them to was my therapist because I knew he’d understand. I’m absolutely in love with the lights. With the push of a button I can change the entire ambiance in my room. Honestly, I recommend them to anyone. They’re called Hitlights and they’re made in America.

I also got curtain twinkle lights for my door. I still haven’t figured how I’m going to put them up. But they look fun.

I love my room. It feels perfect for me. Lots of room for imagination and all my favorite things fit perfectly, from skulls (got a new one at Trader Joe’s this week) to both Pooh Bears (but not Rufus Wainwright) to all my alebrijes I got in Oaxaca.

Tamer asked me if he should go to Oaxaca while on this trip he’s currently on. I said yes, emphatically. That kid grows in leaps and bounds. He taught himself to play chess and then became ridiculously good at it. In three years he achieved an ELO score of 2000. And then he quit because he accomplished his goal. Absolutely brilliant. And so eager to learn new things. I told him last August that he’d never be satisfied by a good Palestinian Catholic girl after living in NYC. Travel spoils us that way.

Milly, my Guatemalan cleaning lady, left me a spray bottle with lavender oil to spray on my pillows to help me sleep. She’s absolutely the sweetest and I am so grateful for her. I know I’m a princess and súper entitled and blah blah blah but having someone to speak Spanish to who does my laundry and tells me all about her kids and looks after me is not a small thing in my book.

I miss my dogs something fierce. I’m going to find a way to bring one of them here. I wish I could bring Teddy. He’d be a good boy, but he gets anxious. I don’t want to break them up. If I can find a way to get a Havanese puppy, I might do that.

But like everything, it all depends on money. If only I had a benefactor. Someone who has gobs of money and doesn’t mind sharing it with a penniless but grateful person like me. As it is, I have to spend all my pennies at the dentist. As it is, I might have to move back home if I can’t make it work financially here. I’d be such a great goomah. I’d keep my mouth shut and wear faux leopard and tons of hairspray. I just have to find my Tony Soprano. Do Russian Jews take Mexican eccentric mistresses?

Anyway, this is what I do in my room when I’m alone. I listen to music, write the thoughts that come off the top of my head, and make silly videos of me singing. I can entertain myself for days on end.

This video doesn’t exist

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