A lot of things.

That he wouldn’t wish NYC for his worst enemy, but it’s ideal for me. The creative forces and the higher median I.Q….it’s just fact.

That my spirit guide looks like a 5’2″ Yaqui who keeps me out of trouble.

That this boy (the one I sort of have feels for) is intrigued but also a little scared of me. I’m a puzzle to be solved. He’s at loose ends about relationships…doesn’t really know what to do. He’s not exploitative or abusive in relationships. He’s highly sensitive but he’s learned how to hide who he is. He’s hard to read, but then again, so am I. Two things: surface presentation doesn’t match what’s inside; and he finds my charisma intriguing but he’s scared to make the next step. But it’s not a waste of time for me.

That one (the one I’ve been putting to bed for a while now) is a rapid cycling genius who keeps me at arms length to protect me from him. When he drops down in mood, he pulls back. I shouldn’t take it personally. I should accept him as he is. He’s not feeling too well right now. He’s feeling low. He has very unrealistic expectations of the world around him. He just thinks too much.

The other (the one who’s been gone for a while) is completely gone and it’s good thing he is. He’s kinda weak and when someone points it out, he’s done. He’s broken.

Most men are going to be trouble for me in general, which is why I should keep it very casual.