I will survive

Last week was all about releasing energy in positive ways, but also a lot of stress that comes with travel. Today is about harnessing it going forward for the long winter.

I slept in. Every time I felt uncomfortable, I addressed it rather than try to power through. A sleep mask. A heating blanket (instead of a weighted one). Lots and lots of water. No communication with my phone. Beethoven and NPR playing on the computer.

My body is stressed in various ways. My back, my skin, my feet, my muscles, my right eye. Everything is calling out for care. Good soap, lotion, lip balm and oils to prevent winter dryness that comes from exposure to heated air and wind. Even hair can get brittle.

Little luxuries that signal the brain and body that it is loved, that it is valued, that it is heard.

A light dinner so as not to require too much energy from digestion. Less talking. Less thinking. More listening to the inside as well as the out. Nourish, nourish, nourish.

This is how I am going to survive.

Instagram story on Paris 2019

Instagram story: Day in the life

There’s something that feels like “coming into one’s own power” that feels great. Maybe it’s just being 40. But things are falling into place. All the knowledge I’ve accumulated with the skills honed and talents discovered. Charisma that opens doors and a characteristic that puts the right people at ease and keeps the wrong people at bay.

I think I’ve been operating at 35%. But I’m hitting my stride and reaching critical mass. Some of this, of course, is unshackling myself from weights that forced me run at everyone else’s speed so they could keep up. If I’m too smart, too bad. If I’m too much, oh well. If I’m going to be called a diva, I might as well own it. If I’m called immature, it’s far better than wearing age on my face that doesn’t even belong to me.

If this all sounds egotistical, it’s only because you haven’t seen me in action. It can be hard to believe. It can be trying. But none of this is happenstance. I am not here by some fluke. It’s time to honor whatever this is and stop being apologetic.

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