So now you’ll know something you probably never knew about me.

It was a good story at GEMS tonight. First off, I wore my red sequined UGGS that I got in 2009 to wear at Christmas when I’d shattered a toe and couldn’t wear heels to holiday parties. People stopped me to comment on them. The MTA attendant in Gowanas stopped me to say that he’d seen me in Bed-Stuy, on Marcus Garvey, earlier that night, and remembered me. That’s how conspicuous I was.

People had nice things to say about my story. I get really shy after I tell a story. I can’t help it. Ever tell your deepest darkest secret to a room full of strangers? You’d feel vulnerable too. “I liked your story, too,” I always say, but really, it sounds a bit glib, even when I’m sincere. Which is always, because I don’t hand out bullshit compliments willy nilly.

I didn’t prepare this one. It’s an open mic, and if I don’t already know the story by heart, I’m just going to tell another one. I’m a great storyteller because I’m a great writer and a natural performer. And I’m those things because I have a brilliant mind and because over half of my life has been spent performing for strangers at dinner and on the street as normal Vene. That’s just fact.

Happy Thanksgiving, my lovelies.

Oh, and here’s a picture of the genuine article back in 2005 at New Year’s. The salad days if you will.