A change of heart

The 1975–Live at the O2 12.17.2016

What do the simple folk do?

To help them escape when they’re blue?

It’s just struck 12, January 1, 2020. I am listening to The 1975’s live concert from the O2. I was at the show. It was one of the best moments of my life. I needed grounding just now. I felt lonely and miserable and terribly PMSy. I stopped and asked myself: when were you most happy? And this memory came to mind.

Life isn’t always pleasant. I had to learn that there are highs and lows. And that I am capable of engaging in life through all of them. I owe it to all the past work I put in to building myself to not let whatever I am feeling overcome me. I have been here before. I know this feeling. It is not so scary and a lot more manageable when I remind myself that I made it through all those other times. It’s gonna be ok.

Self-care and self-parenting mean listening to your needs and being mindful of them, addressing them, and honoring the voice that alerted you to them in the first place.

Survive, goddamnit. There is so much more that needs to be accomplished. Believe in yourself. You got yourself this far. You can take yourself so much further if you only deal with this before it spirals out of control.

That is growth. That is what comes of picking myself up off the ground so many times before, dusting myself off and ambulating in a forward direction.

It’s gonna be ok. How do I know? Because I’m going to make sure that it will be. I got this.

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