From the vault; 2016

I don’t think so wrote this with anyone in mind, but probably D.


If I loved you

If I loved you, there would be no bounds to my love. I would cover you in kisses and suffocate you with embraces. I would build you up and make you feel whole, the way I once had to do for myself.

At first we would relish in each other’s company. Linger over good meals. Languish in a soft bed. Spoil ourselves in making love.

I would care for your every need. I would put you before me. I would waste away as you grew fat. My fingers would become bone. And all the while I would do it for love.

But you would not see the sacrifice. You would only come to take for granted the wealth of kindness brought into your life. And then you would become greedy in its expectation.

I would resent you for not acknowledging me. I would become self-destructive. And you would mistake my suffering for weakness and have disgust for me. And I would become increasingly needy for your love and affirmation, as it would become my only form of nourishment.

I would have given all for you. And you would have taken it with both fists until there was nothing left. And with my last breath, I would ask, “But do you love me?”

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