I met someone in 2018. It shouldn’t work. It’s impossible. But I feel this connection to him. It’s cosmic. He understands me better than anyone. He and I share something that isn’t normally shared between two people.

And yet, I feel like I can’t make the first move.

I don’t want to lose him in the capacity that he currently serves.

But what do I do? Pretend? Just be a friend?

I don’t usually back myself into falling in love. I hit on him the night I met him. It didn’t work. And he’s taken. But if he weren’t…if he saw me as something more than kindred…the way other people see me…I think it would be bliss.

Yesterday I had a video conference and was complimented on my lipstick. Do you even know what it’s like to be seen after feeling invisible for months?

Also, I have to collect belongings from someone I still have feelings for. And I can’t be manipulative or afraid. I just have to be strong.

It takes me twice as much to be half as strong as everyone else. I just want to be held and stroked and coddled maybe a bit.

But by whom?

I don’t want to be a burden. I just want to feel the tender care of someone out there who is brilliant and intuitive. Is that too much to ask??

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