Month: August 2020
But I know better
https://youtu.be/Dm9Zf1WYQ_A I want to write about this in a way that is honest. You need to know that I knew better from the first night without me coming off as arrogant. I just did. But I fell anyway. V told me he knew things about people in his life. Didn't know how, just knew. Knowing … Continue reading But I know better
I am thinking it’s a sign
https://youtu.be/0wrsZog8qXg I’m sorry, but this is going to be a mish mash of a million things that only came to light today in their totality and I’m a little shook so...just deal, ok? Pay close attention for bugs and the recurring day August 24th. January 2016: I rang in 2016 in a mental hospital. My … Continue reading I am thinking it’s a sign
A new name for everything
https://youtu.be/tnmHlcCJqaI You asked for a pseudonym, so you got one. Voldemort...he who must not be named...but we'll just go with V.I'm not sure I can keep our bargain. Not about the name, I can adhere to that one without too much hassle. You're not the first to receive a moniker, but this is a new … Continue reading A new name for everything
The Pauls and the Johns
I'm a pragmatist. And a believer in hope. These things lead me to look toward the future. I know the past well enough...I'm much more interested in what's going to happen rather than living in a time already gone. So when it comes to boys, I can't help but like the Pauls over the Johns. … Continue reading The Pauls and the Johns
Higher ground
https://youtu.be/4wZ3ZG_Wams My stomach hurts in the same way it did in third grade when I forgot to do my homework and got saddled with a week's worth of after-school detention. I never should have been punished for something I had little control over and, yet, I felt shame. Yesterday should have been a good day. … Continue reading Higher ground
All day and all of the night
https://youtu.be/F4DV-5d6a5g On the train and thinking. My most cherished quality I have about myself is my tenacity. I don’t give up. Not in goals and not on people (and if I do, I put them on a shelf and come back around when things have had time to cool off). I got this from my … Continue reading All day and all of the night
Ready to go
https://youtu.be/JgffRW1fKDk Michael’s bar mitzvah was the event of summer 1992. His parents rented out the banquet hall at La Paloma and people flew in to Tucson to be there. It was going to be a ritzy event. A morning ceremony and an evening party. To a girl from Nogales, that meant two party dresses from … Continue reading Ready to go
Send it out into the blue
https://youtu.be/DnSO5Uhobvo I can't help but think of my mom. It isn't the same but it's as close as anyone's ever gotten. -------------------- I got the good side of things Left you with both of the rings My fingers danced and swayed in the breeze The change in the wind took you down to your knees … Continue reading Send it out into the blue
Good
https://youtu.be/Zhs0JD6XJyQ Those last times With the men I've known When we knew it was good bye And not just so long They've had time to think things through I always look better in a rear view mirror They circle back I don't ask why I don't have to We just say goodbye I send them … Continue reading Good
You didn’t know me when
https://youtu.be/sGkz2qCkMZ4 I don't know where I'm going with this, but it's here so I should examine it. Cynicism isn't really my strong suit. I don't enjoy women who say men are trash. I don't engage in conversations about how there's no one good out there and modern dating is awful. I have proof that life … Continue reading You didn’t know me when
Kindness
https://www.instagram.com/tv/CDilnDwly6K/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things, feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth. What you held in your hand, what you counted and carefully saved, all this must go so you know how desolate the landscape can be … Continue reading Kindness
Please don’t bend
Last night was a deep dive into 2016-2017 when I was figuring things out and everything was so very messy. I couldn't keep my distance and fell face first into a melancholy that hasn't lifted with sleep. When I woke up and the sky was overcast, I knew I was going to have to sit … Continue reading Please don’t bend
Wicked Game
https://youtu.be/dlJew-Dw87I The most awful thing I ever did, I did by accident. May 2, 2016: I went to a Posies show at R Bar in downtown Tucson all by myself. Last minute. I saw a woman sitting by herself. Asian, bookish, vintage, stylish, cute. I asked her if she minded having a concert buddy for … Continue reading Wicked Game
