On the train and thinking. My most cherished quality I have about myself is my tenacity. I don’t give up. Not in goals and not on people (and if I do, I put them on a shelf and come back around when things have had time to cool off). I got this from my dad. He’s got a lot of friendships because he puts in the hard work.
As an autistic, it was really helpful to get to learn that from him.
A lot of my treasured friendships came through just being present. Keeping in touch. Inviting people out over and over even if they declined before. The reason why I’m ok with being persistent is that my first impression isn’t always my best and it takes a while to get to know me.
Cool, so you didn’t catch the vibe the first time, I’ll just ask you out again. I can do it til the cows come home because I don’t take it personally.
There’s a woman who moved from Tucson to NYC the same month I did. We should be friends, or at least allies. We have a lot in common. But she comes from the cool kids’ table in Tucson and that’s a whole thing in and of itself. I thought about it today, and rather than shit talk her, I decided to hit her up on Instagram. If she doesn’t respond, I’m really ok with that. She’s not rejecting me. She’s rejecting who she thinks I am. All of you who love me know the difference.
So if I work through persistence and optimism, I guess I should also give people the chance who hit me up over and over. Like this musician guy who keeps liking my videos on Instagram. Every day he reaches out. Every day. Never pushy or entitled. Just nice. I’m not interested but I think that part of me is just shut down right now for whatever reason. And, just like so many strangers before, maybe he too will become on of the people I cherish in my life.