The search for sentient life, if I may call it that, is the result of connection so real and so rewarding that I’ve become more hungry for it rather than less.
If we exist, then there must be others. And we might go our whole lives never knowing one another but for circumstances that seem, at the outset, to have no rhyme or reason. Before coming over the other night, Tyler traced the course of events in his mind and remarked on their tenuous connection: but for this and but for that we might never have become what we are now to one another. Are there others who we’ve brushed up against who might also be kindred but for the fact that we never had the opportunity to meet again and forge deeper relationships?
The answer must be yes. The Israeli was one such person. If not for him I might not even be looking. I wasn’t ready to hear the things he had to say at the time but, for some reason, he saw in me someone with whom he could say all the things. At the time I was in a very tumultuous phase of “becoming.” I couldn’t see out from inside the change. But he could see the tangent to the curve. He could calculate the velocity of who I was in that moment.
So now that is where I am. Looking for that ephemeral thing in others and trying to recognize what the signs are. How do you know when someone has the quality of abstract intuition? What does it feel like?
It feels like only needing to hear the first few thoughts before knowing what the other is going to say and meeting them there before the words are uttered. It is saying something and not needing to clarify it. It is the lack of burden that makes conversations with others superficial or tedious; always having to clarify or get around clumsy limitations and constantly modeling humility so as not to be taken as arrogant. It is reading something and sending the passage to the other, without explanation because it is important. Crucial. When that connection is there and you recognize it, there is no crawling or walking. There is only flying. And once you have experienced it, you have the bittersweet confirmation that everything else does indeed pale by comparison.
If there are more of us, then we must find each other. The question is how. The few I’ve found here have been friends of friends. So what I think must happen is two fold: 1. say yes to opportunities; and 2. we have to unite our efforts because two people looking is better than one person looking and four are better than two. Not everyone will be one of us. Most will not be. But every single addition will add immeasurably to the whole.