Take me to church

Last night:
King Tai and Superpower with Andrea. I told her my theory of Crown Heights as Middle Earth and who is who.

I got to meet her father. A Spanish attorney. He was extremely kind and helped me realize that I can be a little too jaded. I needed that fatherly energy.

Then Franklin Park to Mikey, Trav, Joshy, Dusty, Miriam (who shares my birthday). I got to debut my new fan because it was huuuuuumid. We weren’t going to be let in because it was closed but Mikey came out and brought us in. This is what it’s like to be friends with industry people. They’re good people and more generous than any other group of people I’ve ever met.

Then to the stoop (Josh’s front yard).

I can’t remember (I never say that) how, but Josh offered his arm and we walked to his building while he told me the story of a trip to Europe at 13 wherein he was taught good manners and how to treat young ladies. It was darling.

The stoop gets more elaborate every time. Josh has decked it out with every herb and giant sunflowers. It has a good energy. Even if the guys pee in the front yard. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I got in more Andrea time. More Joshy time. More Travis time. More Mikey time. Lots of hugs and kisses and love from Mikey. I might have cried for a second because Mikey and I can say things to each other.

We have a bat signal worked out in case I really need him.

Then to Mikey’s with Andrea and Travis. Travis rode his bike along us as we walked. We went up to the roof and watch the sun rise and paint the Manhattan skyline pink.

Back to Mikey’s room where we discussed assassination/hit methods and Mikey and I kept throwing each other references and catching them. That happens unintentionally. We’re in a room with others and the conversation starts to exclude others. We’re on the same wavelength and vibing. Like jazz musicians.

Mikey is always touched when I pick up on his reference or he on mine. He puts one hand on his heart, and with the other he gestures at me. “This is why I love you.”

I touched the boys a lot. Grabbed their beards and hugged them. There’s just something about them that is sweet and in need of honest affection that has no other end than to convey kindness and caring. They’re so earnest, even in various states of intoxication.

It is so important for me to be able to be kind. It puts me in touch with my soul. This is my church service. A pilgrimage from holy place to holy place.

I’m not going to stop assuming the best about people until they prove otherwise. It means I am vulnerable to disappointment and hurt. I need to be able to take a person as they come, with complexity and weaknesses.

I’m being exposed right now to complex truths about someone I love but don’t have a relationship with at the moment. Unflattering truths that even a mutual friend who is speaking them doesn’t know what he’s revealing to me by saying them. In a single story, the mutual friend illuminates things I didn’t know and shows his ignorance of goings on that fill out this picture of the person I love. I don’t have to do anything about the new information. Except that it’s teaching me how to accept people even when they lie.

Yesterday, before going into the city to get a root canal, I prayed. I asked for signs. Obvious signs. Signs that would hit me over the head. I didn’t want subtlety.

The signs came. A trip to the Gap where I found the same jeans I’d shopped for the night before online for $10 instead of $80. Not getting run over despite walking against the light on Lexington. Barely avoiding stepping on twigs and dog vomit while writing. Other things I lost count of.

And then a man on the train literally saying, “There are signs everywhere. You just have to know where to look.” That’s straight out of the movie Fool’s Rush In. I couldn’t believe it. But also, I asked for obvious. Spirit is cheeky. Spirit knows how to speak my language.

“Ok!!!! I get it!”

On the walk to the gastroenterologist, the skies opened up like a zipper and rain poured down in sheets. I walked the last few blocks getting drenched. A lightning bolt struck across the sky and thunder followed instantly. I laughed. I laughed at the sky and all the invisible powers of good in a state of mild ecstasy. It was beautiful and innocent. I felt the thunder shake my soul of detrius and a light shine from within.

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