Pausing to reflect

Today I said goodbye to Jon.

He said he was bummed to be leaving. But then he realized that he could jump in a plane any time he wants and stay on my couch.

Before he came, I had no idea what it would be like to have a friend from Tucson see my life in NYC.

It wasn’t all easy. I left for a reason and Jon is in love with that town. But he’s come to see how it is possible to be in love with this city. It challenged him to grow in similar ways that it challenges me. And he wants to grow.

I get to play a part in the growth of this human being. What an immense responsibility.

I saw a meme recently that said something about how you should remember that the life you’re living today, that can be annoying and awful, is the life you dreamed about living five years ago.

I count my blessings because this life is very much the one I dreamed of. It isn’t perfect. I never asked for perfect. I did ask to be worthy of a substantial life.

All I want to do is learn and teach and help and grow and get lost in beauty and talk long into the night and run around in the moment and meet up with old friends in new cities and make new friends in old ones. Maybe worry a little less. Maybe mellow my firey nature a bit.

Let me learn to handle the complexities of health issues with grace. Let me learn how to show others that this life can have dignity even if it isn’t ideal.

Give me time. Give me patience. Give me a sense of humor to get me through tough times.

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