Jack and I have been talking on and off about moves and when to make them: do you tell someone you want to kiss them or does it take some of the yummy anticipation out of the not knowing? After all, you can’t kiss someone for the first time twice.
We’ve argued all sides of it, individually and collectively. And I think I’m coming to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter at the outset. The how’s and why’s and wherefores only have relevance in the context of what comes next.
If it becomes part of the cute story you tell each other (and whomever else you share the story with 🤔) down the road when you’re in agreement that there’s a connection…either party could have initiated at any point and it would have been fine.
But if it’s bad…it doesn’t matter if you did it in the first five minutes or if you waited until the third date or after 10 years of knowing each other. The time and the experience play a part in discovering chemistry or assessing compatibility. But they do not determine the outcome.
Great kissing can lead to terrible outcomes. Bad kissing can lead to good ones. Everything is only elucidated after the tiny filaments of experiences accumulate as they are woven into the cloth of our pasts. It’s all about perspective.
Anticipation is its own reward. It is not a harbinger of what is to come. Our brains are wired and filled with groovy chemicals just for the enjoyment of anticipation.
I have to be careful with whom I talk about this meta thought experiment stuff with. In the wrong hands it can seem like I’m suggesting something or being a tease or who knows what…when, really, I’m just an armchair philosopher in the ways of humans…who also just happens to enjoy making out.