When I got my tarot read this past week I got the same damn messages that I get every time.

1. I’m a channel and and my purpose is to share the esoteric things that I’ve learned; and
2. I have all the tools I need to do it.

Why can’t my purpose be something a whole lot more concrete…and profitable…or at least stable? And how is it even possible that I have all the tools I need? All I have in abundance are lipsticks and jelly platforms.

That’s so much responsibility! I’m just a Toys R Us kid. Plus…no one should ever listen to what I have to say. I don’t even floss regularly!

I already did the esoteric channeling message bringing in 2020. I haven’t had a vision since 2019. Or any solid omens in a while. No yellow butterflies. If there are new things besides 4:44 and 11:22 (and I still don’t know what they mean), I’m not picking up on them yet.

So here I am, asking for some obvious signs. Like signs written in Comic Sans or clown horn honks. Or free ice cream. Or a slimmer waistline and a more defined jaw. Or mice that poop rainbow sprinkles.

I’m not in the mood for subtlety. Or more bad news.

So…let’s make it some good news that I can actually do something about with obvious signs. And let’s give me some authority so people don’t think I’m some silly flake. Maybe a nice coat with epaulettes. Or the perfect red lip and winged eyeliner. And let’s put me in front of the people who will listen and can actually do something about it.

Yes, that’ll do.

No whammies no whammies no whammies!