I’m writing this down only because I will need to remember this next year and all the ones after that:
When you’re a four-year old child being raised by legal adults who expect you to solve their problems that are clearly above your paygrade and have no solution…it’s easy to grow up into an adult who doesn’t want to try because everything is equally overwhelming.The fact that you do try anyway shows that you’re doing ok for yourself. DON’T let hard things defeat you. Just keep swimming.
And it’s perfectly reasonable that the “cool head” you give off in moments of crisis and the air of authority you possess that were borne of being raised in utter chaos leads others to believe that you know what you’re doing. And, moreover, that they can rely on you for…anything, really. You got really good at that because it helped you survive when you had no other option.
Your next job is to remember that when someone is telling you their problems, you’re not responsible for fixing them just because your parents never got their shit together and you were expected to fix everything. And you need to learn a “go to” response like, “Wow. I’m sorry” when fully grown human beings start telling you their problems because you possess this air of knowing what the fuck you’re doing. You don’t have to feel the overpowering weight of anyone else’s problems ever.
And last, stop pointing out potholes and cliffs to people because you see them and they don’t. Remember the age old wisdom that everyone…EVERYONE despises that person. If you’re not responsible for the cleanup, let them run around like toddlers with unabated access to asbestos and mercury. Your safety is not contingent upon their actions.
And finally, remember to trust yourself and you’ll worry less about whether you should trust others. Don’t build foundations on sand. You got this, champ.