I have summer seasonal affective disorder. Too much sunlight turns me into a wrath monster. September is historically a bad month after an August full of sunlight. What does it feel like? I can’t get started until 4 or 5 p.m. My brain goes nocturnal. I have zero energy to initiate anything. People who generally […]
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll meI ain’t the sharpest tool in the shedShe was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumbIn the shape of an “L” on her forehead So I’m five or six and the Daisy (Girl Scout precursor) meeting at my house is over. Something has […]
I don’t take compliments well on how I’m dressed. It’s getting to be a problem because now people are calling it out without understanding that it’s not about false modesty. There’s a reason but if I say it to someone when they’re mid, “Vene, learn to take a compliment,” talk, then I have to explain […]
I had to carry a beeper on me at all times once. I wasn’t a doctor. I was a freshman in college. My mother needed to know where I was every second of the day. This woman, with her weaponized worry, liked to envision me being stuffed in the trunk of some serial killer’s car […]
I’m writing this down only because I will need to remember this next year and all the ones after that:When you’re a four-year old child being raised by legal adults who expect you to solve their problems that are clearly above your paygrade and have no solution…it’s easy to grow up into an adult who […]
I don’t know how to write about this or talk about this or even feel about this. My sister called me a month ago. She never calls. She was crying. Big sobs. So it didn’t matter that I was dressed and about to go out. I knew that what mattered was that she needed to […]
https://www.instagram.com/p/CTGPfYnjfyg/?utm_medium=copy_link I don’t know for sure, but I’ve got a hunch that Borderline Personality Disorder is a huuuuuge boogeyman that people get saddled with. Big surprise that the DSM gets it wrong AGAIN. If it were to occur spontaneously in a person, then we could call it a personality disorder. Let’s say you grow up […]
Let’s get it out and down on paper and then let’s start doing something about it. Most days I feel like an old battery that can’t hold a charge. I know why. I know that I was never good enoughfor someone when I was too little to do anything about it. I was only as […]
I.Tyler was maybe gonna come over last night but he’s injured and lacking in sleep. Baseball. I was maybe gonna order cheesecake and then started shredding carrots (and two knuckles) to make a cake. But it was hot. And I wanted to see J. Turns out he wanted to see me after he got out […]
It’s October 2018 and I’m cold, laying on a futon in Crown Heights, trying to go to sleep. I’m uncomfortable because the futon has yet to be built that is amazing to sleep on. Futons fails as sofas and as beds. They’re sort of mediocre at everything but they get the job done. But it’s […]
Veneranda Jade 