June 10, 2021 One foot in front of the other It’s October 2018 and I’m cold, laying on a futon in Crown Heights, trying to go to sleep. I’m uncomfortable because the futon has…
May 30, 2021 She lays down We’re not out of the woods quite yet, but we’re making headway. Enough that I can look back with some clarity. Things are good…
May 23, 2021 The struggle, she is real When I was still a little kid, some people in my family started showing signs of illness and my mother drove herself insane looking…
May 13, 2021 What it actually feels like About a year ago, in April, my period suddenly changed. Not that it’s ever been “normal.” When I was 18, I started bleeding for…
May 12, 2021 What it feels like Like your alarm clock is a rollercoaster and you start every day with your stomach dropping as the G forces pile up. Like the…
March 21, 2021 The rite of spring Depression isn’t how they paint it. It comes and goes like the tide, lulling you with gently sloped beaches and then inundating you. It…
March 9, 2021 Dopamine and me: thoughts on autism, dyslexia, social deficits Note: I’m reading a lot today. I didn’t cite anything on this blog post but any fact that wasn’t personal came from reading a…
February 9, 2021 The mean reds There are good days and bad days and in-between days. Lots of days. And there there are days like today, when I am reacquainted…
December 29, 2020 2020: a story in song View this post on Instagram A post shared by VA (@vene_la_green_eyez) A story compiled from the life I lived this year and the lessons…
December 20, 2020 I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose* *The irony of discussing autism and mental illness with a song featuring Sia is not lost on me. She’s persona non grata in the…
December 10, 2020 Tetraptych: sketches done in ball-point pen PART ONE:I can take care of myself but I don’t know if I could do that if I had a job. I’m proud of…
December 7, 2020 Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older There is a condominium complex in the beachfront town of San Carlos. The exteriors are white stucco with rod iron stairs leading to the…
December 2, 2020 What’s my age again? Neurodiversity, executive functioning and time management In typical Vene fashion, I confused the dates. The talk is tomorrow. Now I wish I realized that before I woke up at 8…
November 18, 2020 What I didn’t expect from watching Season 3 of The Crown…it’s a doozy All is good. I am safe. I am warm. I am loved. But tonight took an unexpected turn down memory lane to a time…
November 13, 2020 Harder, better, faster, stronger 2020, amirite? But honestly, what has it all been for? Maddie and I pondered this question til almost 3 in the morning while sitting…
November 1, 2020 Think of me what you will, I’ve got a little space to fill I actually do have an idea for a screenplay that I think could work. I don’t know how other writers get their ideas, but…
October 16, 2020 A second thought Weekday mornings bring about clarity and vulnerability. I am too honest. And there is a beast inside me that roars. She is protecting me…
October 12, 2020 Everything’s alright I’m watching a scary movie in the middle of a rainy day, in flannel pajamas. It’s The Haunting of Bly House, which is an…
October 10, 2020 No, you just have to wait Ok, Vene, the electrical storm has passed and you had some clarity. So get this down and come back here the next time. Your…
September 29, 2020 Sincerity is scary Such silly, little imposters, words. A grey sky is not a grey sky. And no amount of artistry or craft can convey the experience….
September 13, 2020 Scruffy lookin’ nerf herder I’ve waited so long to watch Episode IX. Why? Not because I heard it was bad, but because I’d finally have to say goodbye…
September 11, 2020 Or you can start speaking up I am not the sum total of my trauma. Most days I can walk around divorced of its implications that once kept me from…
June 6, 2020 And you do what they told ya: autism and pathological demand avoidance Brass Against, for these who don’t know is a Rage Against The Machine cover band. If you don’t know the song, it’s from 1992…
May 5, 2020 Even the world needs a rest Listen. Ten times. View this post on Instagram #Repost @oranicuhh with @get_repost ・・・ had some shit to address. “my whole mood is blown” out…
April 28, 2020 So long, Mel Baggs, and thanks for all the good Mel Baggs died. At the age of 39. Please watch the video if you have any curiosity or familiarity with autism. I’m verbal…overly so….
April 28, 2020 No song title for this one either I talked to a friend last night. I couldn’t unload because she’s an unemployed author with two kids and a partner who has cancer….
April 24, 2020 More I have this thing. It’s not an addiction, per say. More of…a non-constructive self-soothing mechanism I learned from my parents. My parents both have…
May 21, 2019 Latuda, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb Aaaaargh. So, there was this period during the marriage, the divorce and for a while after where I felt like my body was betraying…
