Believe it or not, it’s just me

I have this superpower with men. I make the perfect platonic girl friend. I can’t tell you how many times it has happened. I only started figuring people out a few years ago, but once I did, I went to the head of the class. Everyone loves feeling understood and I give that. I can […]

Da na na na ta…

I broke my toe nail last night in a dream. In my dream life those tiny things are just as overwhelming as they are in the waking. I was back in Tucson, as who I am now. There were two people fighting for attention. Someone new, and the ex. I was happy to see him. […]

Goodbye Earl

I’ve been trying to exorcise this ghost for a year. I got rid of WhatsApp. I blocked his number. He got a new phone to be able to call me. I blocked that too. He found me on Facebook Messenger. I blocked him on that. I wrote a story that I liked and I wanted […]

Little white lies

Until this very moment I thought I’d lied to him, letting him think he was the first. But I’m not even sure he asked. And even if I had lied, he should have known the truth afterwards. Instead, he jumped off the loft bed and started flexing his muscles in the mirror on the door […]

Father figure

Andrea helped me work something out last night, which is reason of itself to go out on a Wednesday, even if the night looks like it holds no promise. I went out on a date two nights ago with a guy who in 2017 would have appeared fascinating to me. Persian. Tech guy. Makes good […]

Did I want to know of fire?

There aredaysin whichIwish I’dnever metyou Never knownwhatitis to be known Never feltwhat it istobetouched Icatch myselfrememberingyouknowing meAndthechasmunknitsitself andsags wide intotheshapeof you Was it betterto have knownyouevenfor a movementthanto havewalked thisworld certainthat no onecould possiblyunderstand? Orto havefelt you mergeintome…onlyto be lashedupon thisrock and havethebits ofyouI kept pecked out anewdayafterdayafterday?

Shout, sister, shout

He turned mean I turned cold I grew numb And he grew old I was able to tell him how mad I was. How I couldn’t believe him. I couldn’t tell him though that any passion that ever existed was gone. Any intimacy had died for lack of nourishment. I couldn’t say that the sex […]

May you grow up to be righteous

Vene, stop confusing someone seeking out your attention with someone giving your theirs. You’re very good at making people feel seen. Everybody wants that. The ones who want it most are the ones you need to watch out for. Just remember that. Samy was right. This attention is a drug. This guy hits me up […]

La mala vida

When things get confusing I have to ask myself, “What do I know to be true?” As in what can I rely on? Even if I assume selfish motives and faulty logic and lack of self-awareness…there are some things that are irrefutable amongst the mendacity that pervades the world. That is inside of me even. […]

So far it’s alright

Last night at karaoke a flight attendant named Coral asked Samy and me how we knew each other. 💁🏻‍♀️: Tinder👨🏻‍🎤: Yeah, we had one really hot week in 2017 I explained that we are friends now. When I told her I was friends with other women in his life, she tried to read the situation […]