March 15, 2021 Nada te turbe, nada te espante Acuérdate de esta noche. Del hueco que aparece cuando pongas tu autoestima en las manos de otros. Acuérdate del sentido de debilidad. Del peso…
December 30, 2020 Pet peeves A list of pet peeves in no particular order: And a pet peeve of Bette Middler’s that led to good.
December 22, 2020 2020: an Earth odyssey 2020 is the year of the caretaker. Anyone who works in the direct service of others. Doctors and nurses and medical staff yeah, but…
December 22, 2020 Baby, you can drive my car So sue me, I’m on a Beatles kick. Three times I went to the Hertz rental car place off of Eastern Parkway this year….
December 18, 2020 Strong is only part of the title Some songs just come when they’re needed. Never before had I heard this song until today but it was what I needed to hear….
December 11, 2020 Si a una vez me olvido In the moment, I saythis hurts;this nick at the corner of my mouththat cracked open some day recentlyin the past. It will not healand…
October 26, 2020 How do you talk to an angel…of doom? This is the worst song ever manufactured for a fake band to sing for a spin off of Melrose Place. And one of the…
October 12, 2020 Westward ho! Just in case ya need something on the road…part of a little list I’ve been keeping. MUSIC: Khruangbin (Pichfork Live–Chill stuff) Quantic (Vinyl Set–Chill…
October 5, 2020 Ghost Town When I’m down, the way I am now, I look exhaustively for tiny discoveries of hope, usually couched in some artistic expression just existing…
October 2, 2020 I know this much is true If I just stare at the blocks on my quilt, fuschia flowers embroidered on yellow backgrounds, the year could be 2020 or 2004. It…
October 2, 2020 Where’ve all sensations gone? I don’t have to be strong for anyone today. Pleasant for anyone. Kind to anyone. I don’t have it in me. Usually I can…
September 30, 2020 No one gets off scott free We’ve gone through a whole wheelhouse of emotion during Covid. In February we had the medical professionals telling us not to worry. The flu…
September 24, 2020 Baby, won’t you let me have a little time to hide? In all things I am inconstant. My mood vacillates from extreme to extreme. I am capricious. I crave attention, and when it eludes me,…
September 17, 2020 Who’s that girl? They were young once. Blood coursed through their veins. Air through their lungs. They had passions and fears. What were they thinking about? What…
September 13, 2020 Video killed the radio star Gender reveal parties, aside from being incindiary, are performative, right? They’re done for the Gram. Remember flash mob proposals? Done for YouTube? Or just…
September 6, 2020 I’m lost in the supermarket Ownership of information is the exercise of overdeveloped egos. The need to possess things, even intangible things like obscure references and deep cuts, comes…
August 22, 2020 A new name for everything You asked for a pseudonym, so you got one. Voldemort…he who must not be named…but we’ll just go with V. I’m not sure I…
August 18, 2020 The Pauls and the Johns I’m a pragmatist. And a believer in hope. These things lead me to look toward the future. I know the past well enough…I’m much…
August 10, 2020 All day and all of the night On the train and thinking. My most cherished quality I have about myself is my tenacity. I don’t give up. Not in goals and…
August 8, 2020 Good Those last times With the men I’ve known When we knew it was good bye And not just so long They’ve had time to…
August 6, 2020 You didn’t know me when I don’t know where I’m going with this, but it’s here so I should examine it. Cynicism isn’t really my strong suit. I don’t…
August 6, 2020 Kindness View this post on Instagram The ever glorious and wonderful Emma Thompson reads “Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye. Emma would like to dedicate this…
August 6, 2020 Please don’t bend Last night was a deep dive into 2016-2017 when I was figuring things out and everything was so very messy. I couldn’t keep my…
July 28, 2020 Self-promos and other nonsense View this post on Instagram @amyshark #sinkin #lipsync #snapchat A post shared by VA (@vene_la_green_eyez) on Jul 27, 2020 at 10:23pm PDT I don’t…
July 25, 2020 I’ll be your whatever you want Why does it matter Who loved me Who saw me once as a woman Who craved me Who lamented my loss Who reached out…
July 24, 2020 Boy, you’ve got me so confused Something’s up and I don’t know what. I’m fine. But I’m feeling a disturbance in the force. I checked in with myself. I’m good,…
July 23, 2020 I wanna get better I’m going through the blog and reading over everything this week. I’m trying to distill all these posts and figure out what my writing…
July 22, 2020 Third date sex I was talking to Tyler recently about dating in general and he mentioned third date sex. What is third date sex? Literally having sex…
July 21, 2020 My Sharona* This post is kind of a data dump. I went through an old DISC assessment that I did in 2015. There was a commercial…
July 20, 2020 It’s only just out of reach, down a block on a beach I’ll try to keep this one short but sweet, but I’m not making any promises. 2017 (May): I meet Dan, the 🦄. I swipe…
July 10, 2020 Time, time, time, see what’s become of me Timing, right. It’s crucial. When to release a film for Oscar contention. When to leave the house to get to the airport in time…
July 4, 2020 Let America be America Again; July 4th, 2020 Let America Be America Again Langston Hughes (1902-1967) Let America be America again. Let it be the dream it used to be. Let it…
June 29, 2020 Come-a listen to my story bout a man named Jed: Mexico and renewable energy Last night my dad told me that the American Ambassador pulled the Mexican Secretary of State into a meeting to complain about Mexico’s corruption…
June 28, 2020 Carefree: Let’s give people some (safe) space This article is really well-written and hopefully it helps people see why we not only need to value POC safe spaces but protect them…
June 27, 2020 I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates I woke up this morning feeling incredibly loved by someone. I don’t even know who. Just I felt confidence and stability and a toggle…
June 21, 2020 I know a place: altruism, the misguided New Man and how to get people to care Are you familiar with the concept of the New Man? It has its roots in religion and philosophy and has been used by political…
June 20, 2020 Oh bondage! Up yours! Do you remember 2018? June was probably the worst month. Women who’d felt disenfranchised by Trump were finally awakening and seeing what was happening…
June 18, 2020 Fortunate Son Father’s Day is on Sunday, and I thought about waiting until then to post this. But I feel it now, so, it’s early. I…
June 13, 2020 Aqui estoy establecido “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” –Martin Luther King DESDE LA CUARTA DECLARACIÓN DE LA SELVA LACANDONA EZLN, 1 Enero, 1996, Chiapas,…
June 12, 2020 Man, I feel like a woman: JK Rowling’s defense and some thoughts I just read JK Rowling’s defense of her stance on trans women and it’s kind of a mess. I’ll try to articulate her arguments…
June 9, 2020 Taking care of business: government reform and the passing of the baton The Preamble of the American Constitution (1787) states: “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish…
June 2, 2020 What white pacifists don’t understand about their pleas for peace and their use of police violence against peaceful protesters I need to make you hip to something because some of you out there think you know what you’re talking about when you call…
June 1, 2020 A change is gonna come: Brooklyn 2020/Tucson 2011 This isn’t the time for me to share with you my personal grief. This is a time for others to take the mic. At…
June 1, 2020 Wish I had a socket-set to dismantle this morning In the early morning, when the weather cooled down to the fifties and Marcus Garvey stilled, I opened my bedroom window and listened to…
May 31, 2020 The time to hesitate is through I’m in withdrawal. I ask myself, is it thirst? No. Hunger? No. Some vitamin deficiency? No. Alcohol? Cigarettes? Caffeine? No, no, no. I have…
May 30, 2020 A riot of our own Bastille Day is July 14th. It’s the French national holiday. It is the day that the French working class, sick and tired of being…
May 24, 2020 These days I’m at SFO sitting in a fun swivel chair with my feet up, listening to Mark Ronson’s Version album. I don’t know when the switch went…
May 21, 2020 Trolls I have one, which is weird. It doesn’t make me feel anything but perplexed that someone would take time to heckle me…more than once….
May 21, 2020 Fight the power When I was in high school, our biology book had this picture in it (or something similar). And for IB Biology we had to…
May 19, 2020 The power of love (or sex…whatever) Teen sex was fun for me. That’s the great thing about losing your virginity to a friend with no emotions involved. It meant there…
May 18, 2020 No sleep til…Brooklyn I feel a little broken tonight. It’s taken so much out of me. I just want someone to come and tell me they will…
May 17, 2020 Message in a bottle Edit: Originally published on 5/17/2020 7/22/2020: I took this down because it felt pretentious at the time, but I’m putting it back up because…
May 16, 2020 Halcyon days There was a time when I learned the sacred values of words. If you overuse a word it can lose its meaning, its power….
May 10, 2020 Listen to your heart: advice to you when you feel stuck I’m here in Tucson. I have a flight out, for now at least. I don’t know if I should extend my stay or go…
May 6, 2020 Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz I have accepted the 10 Days of Birthday Gifts challenge from no one in particular. My birthday is June 15th, and with shipping the…
April 30, 2020 Shitty poetry when I can’t think straight A word for every place and thing But I don’t make a sound So used to hearing my own voice When there’s no one…
April 28, 2020 Fuck Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs pseudoscience bullshit Here is one of many articles explaining why it’s wrong. People are using this hierarchy right now to justify all sorts of terrible behavior….
April 27, 2020 No song title this time I can only say it so many ways. I’m losing the battle here in Tucson. I’m losing touch with anything good inside me. And…
April 20, 2020 One, two princes here before you: a boy I once loved and the words I never could Edit: From January Today was was a gorgeous winter day where unexpected help was found, where generosity was touching, and where I realized that…
April 15, 2020 It’s up to you, New York When I was 11, I went on a gifted school trip to Washington, D.C. It was my first trip to the East Coast. It…
April 15, 2020 Lonesome town article for GHF Dialogue Lonesome Town: How This Gifted Girl Unapologetically Navigates Friendship
April 10, 2020 We are made of our longest days: Bernie Sanders folks, do not despair To my Bernie folks and to your Bernie folks: I know you are disheartened. I understand. You see all the injustices out there and…
April 7, 2020 Something: the Beatles and faith Today is a Beatles kind of day. I didn’t come to faith of my own volition. I am a “man of science.” But…
April 5, 2020 Lean on me Three things: 1. The AirBNB owner came over yesterday and we talked about all the woo woo. She’s a former chemist and statistician. She’s…
April 4, 2020 Money, it’s also a liquid! How about we try to save the economy? Here are my thoughts: the federal government is not suited to direct dissemination of funds to the public. They’re requiring tax returns for verification….
April 3, 2020 First I was afraid, I was petrified I’ve been on a ventilator. It saved my life. And even if I haven’t cured cancer or written the great American novel or married…
April 2, 2020 In my life You know what sounds really good right now? Buying local. Buying American. Employing Americans. Respecting American labor. Treating it like the National resource it…
March 30, 2020 Wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door I have this superstition about New Year’s Eve. I mean, everyone has superstitions about New Year’s Eve. Wear red underwear. Eat 12 grapes. Sweep…
March 29, 2020 Love it if we made it: Matty Healy’s plea for compassion at the O2 Do me a favor and click into the video at 40 minutes in so you can see a speech I saw live on December…
March 26, 2020 And now I know ‘Spanish Harlem’ are not just pretty words to say If you want happy, go check out my Instagram stories/feed. There’s plenty there to keep you occupied. This is where I’ve come today to…
March 24, 2020 Gardening at night: fresh produce supply chains in the time of Covid-19 Note: this isn’t to scare you. This is just stuff I have some knowledge of and a good hunch about. My hunches tend to…
March 21, 2020 Ready, steady, go…and all the things she said…on social media That’s virtual Matty Healy. Here’s my Facebook cleanse for anyone who wants to follow. Consult your doctor before engaging. Individual results will vary. 1….
March 20, 2020 Woo hoo, witchy woman I’m writing this only for posterity and to show you maybe how this thing works. I don’t know the future. I just know there’s…
March 18, 2020 Got a black magic woman More on the woo woo. But I’ll keep it short this time. So you know that I gave a speech at the U.N. back in…
March 16, 2020 I don’t like going outside so bring me everything here: Problems in the time of Covid-19 First the small and then the big. Small: deliveries from Grove by UPS I just want UPS to deliver my package. Simple, right? It’s…
March 15, 2020 It’s the end of the world as we know it Stick with me for a bit. This one’s a bit of a rollercoaster ride but I think I might have a point. Be prepared…
March 12, 2020 Hot for teacher I took two semesters of English in college needlessly. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. The University of…
March 8, 2020 I’m leaving on a jet plane This one is really dark. I don’t want you reading this if my retelling of abuse and suicide attempt is going to trigger you….
March 7, 2020 Soup is good food I made butternut squash soup today. It’s was ridiculously easy. Peel, clean and chop a butternut squash. Do the same to a green apple….
March 7, 2020 That thing you do! You can’t just separate the good from the bad in a person. That’s what makes things so confusing. But I like to remember the…
March 5, 2020 What are you? Not the border wall. I get this a lot. And there are very few people who can understand. Growing up in Nogales is a unique experience. Nogales is…
March 5, 2020 Character study for later use It is cruel to be kind at times. And the best characters are flawed. —————- She’s eager to please and acts like a Jewish…
March 3, 2020 Ever fallen in love, in love with someone//You shouldn’t have fallen in love with? When you have a blog, you might not know who reads or how they even find you. I’ve been writing here for about a…
March 1, 2020 The honest truth about PTSD Anger is one of those feelings people are funny about it. Women, at least the ones I grew up with, aren’t supposed to get…
March 1, 2020 Open up your heart and let the sunshine in First of all, happy Sunday!!!! Don’t you just love Carol Channing? She was such a ray of sunshine. Every hipster in L.A. would kill…
February 28, 2020 More Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans: being autistic in a neurotypical world The above clip from Selena is something every Mexican-American born after 1975 can quote to you by heart because it sums up our experience…
February 27, 2020 Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock ‘n roll high school The last few weeks of high school were such a blur to me. My high school offered the IB diploma. International Baccalaureate was and…
February 25, 2020 I know he can get the job, but can he do the job? I feel like Dan Hedaya in Joe Versus The Volcano a lot these days. I don’t think people understand there is a difference between…
February 25, 2020 From the vault: Paddling for my life with a hidden disability Note: This originally ran in the online magazine Fierce by Mitù in late 2018, which is why it is heavy handed with the Latina…
February 24, 2020 I heard there was a secret chord: autism, synesthesia, and the dentist You hear the word synesthesia and to you it might mean seeing the color blue when you hear jazz music. That’s cute. I wish…
February 23, 2020 Money for nothing and your chick’s for free Here’s a FB post I wrote two days ago after realizing something: I’m giving myself a lot more permission to say no to people….
February 22, 2020 Betty Crocker, punk rocker I’ve been thinking back a lot lately on who I am. Like, what is it about my past that illustrates who I am. When…
February 22, 2020 Don’t want to be an American idiot Bernie isn’t the Messiah come to lead the revolution. At most he’s a minor prophet. I’ve read upwards of forty articles in the past…
February 19, 2020 I just want to feel something again Edit: Name redacted at request of subject If my posts have been extra negative lately, there’s a reason. I broke it off with XXXX….
February 18, 2020 Barbarism begins at home Hello from the fuck ups. We’re the family members who let you down. Who ruin holidays. Who can be counted on to have messy…
February 17, 2020 Witchy woman I’m really good at making things happen out of thin air. I write them as fiction or just send an intention out into the…
February 15, 2020 She’s a good girl, loves her mama Someone threw me for a loop recently. I showed them my baby book. It’s filled with all the minutia of my least interesting years,…
February 14, 2020 New endeavor with GHF Dialogue Fitz and the Tantrums; or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gift
February 13, 2020 The purge Six days and nights is a lot of time to lay on your back with nothing to occupy your mind. It’s exactly what I…
February 11, 2020 Lonesome town Something happened recently that brought up a whole swell of stuff I did not want to deal with when I’m six days into a…
February 10, 2020 I’m not angry anymore I could tell you all about my fuck ups…and God are there a plethora…but most of them I knew were bad decisions going in….
February 5, 2020 Welcome to my life, tattoo I got this ink in two parts back in 2017. It was part of the process of becoming who I am today. First came…
February 4, 2020 You’re so vain All this talk about JLo at 50 has got me thinking about aging. Aging well, aging gracefully, but most of all aging without apology….
February 3, 2020 Jenny from the block The Super Bowl halftime show got me thinking about my own brush with J.Lo, which would never have happened if I didn’t have bipolar…
January 29, 2020 Fix you Current mood: liberated! What was last night? Probably the best affirmation of putting myself in the path of good things. But first let me…
January 28, 2020 Shit poems and other things you write when you feel like crap When you have nowhere to sleep And you’re lost in the night With no one to keep you safe from fright When the road…
January 27, 2020 Redemption song This Kobe thing has me thinking. Yeah, he was a whiny bitch and he brought the art of flopping in basketball to new heights,…
January 25, 2020 I want to fall asleep to the beat of you breathing Edit: name redacted at request of subject So you know why they want to sleep with me, but let me tell you another reason…
January 21, 2020 Building a mystery Keeper of the flame: back in the day, it was someone’s job to keep a fire stoked for utilitarian and spiritual uses. Figurative keepers…
January 17, 2020 To all the boys I’ve loved before Wow, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? You look good. Really. The boy I liked at seven, Jaime Olaiz the fall of 1993, the…
January 16, 2020 Bad Days Edit: name redacted at request of subject I remember a lot of days growing up when it would just be my dad and me….
January 15, 2020 Now that we’ve found love what are we gonna do with it? January starts with a bang and just keeps going. Everyone has a million projects while dealing with, at a minimum, low grade depression. Try…
January 14, 2020 Where the streets have no name I’m in need of a road trip, I think. So many good memories. Of eating scrambled egg sandwiches on white bread with mayonnaise in…
January 11, 2020 From the vault; 2016 I don’t think so wrote this with anyone in mind, but probably D. ——– If I loved you If I loved you, there would…
January 10, 2020 We can be heroes Ok, let’s say your brain can hold a lot of data. Maybe pi to the 20th digit. Maybe the opening moves for 20 famous…
January 8, 2020 Spanish bombs, yo te quiero y finito During the terrible days of the Cuban Missile Crisis, the top brass came up with a protocol for whisking away the heads of the…
January 7, 2020 Stuff from the attic; 2017 Found this on Hitrecord.com. That site was a bust for me. But this piece isn’t so bad. ———– I wake up in the morning…
January 3, 2020 Happy anniversary to me Without delving too far into the details, I had to get married when I was 24. On January 3, 2004. It was not a…
January 2, 2020 40 oz On Repeat I’m pretty sure this song was written about me. I don’t know why it’s so difficult for me To talk to somebody…
January 2, 2020 More than words For being a writer, I kinda dislike words. Basically, they’re all just sounds that our brains direct our bodies to make and then we…
January 2, 2020 Don’t go chasing waterfalls This is explicit, but not about me. Sex storytelling YouTube video Storytelling, I have come to learn, is so cathartic for both performer and…
January 1, 2020 A change of heart The 1975–Live at the O2 12.17.2016 What do the simple folk do? To help them escape when they’re blue? It’s just struck 12, January…
December 30, 2019 Girls just want to have fun Dear Greta, I first became acquainted with Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women in the fall of 1992. That is a lie. I’d read it once in…
December 28, 2019 And all I ever do is think of yesterday “I don’t hate hardly ever, and when I love, I love for miles and miles. A love so big it should either be outlawed…
December 25, 2019 Anthem If ever I had one, it would be this little ditty by Fiona Apple. Merry Xmas, Vene 25.12.2019 Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY I certainly haven’t…
December 24, 2019 Breathe, breath in the air He is a meditation. My heartbeat slows. My breath is deep. I swoon from the oxygen. I get a little high. In the same…
December 23, 2019 It’s a most wonderful time of the year The way my empathy (and maybe yours) expresses itself is through the physical. I get really calm around people who are nervous. My voice…
December 23, 2019 La Tortura Pain is the feeling of injustice expelling from my body through hot tears running down red cheeks whenever I try to pay a my…
December 21, 2019 Only the good die young Living the life that I’ve had, I’ve became accustomed to surviving. Not quite living, but more like floating around like a virus; a twisted…
December 17, 2019 Suppose I never ever met you Be prepared for woo woo. Not too much. Just a little. I grew up in a strict Catholic house. No woo woo allowed. Well,…
December 16, 2019 All the leaves are brown Heading into the city to get acupuncture for pain everywhere. I don’t write about how bad it is. How I don’t sleep because of…
December 13, 2019 Her face is a map of the world This is a story about that time I reached peak coolness. A trip to the beach, an international train ride, rowdy college kids, room…
December 10, 2019 Brenda and Eddie Something I was asked to write last year but never got published. I’m presenting it as is. It’s June 15, 2018. It’s my birthday….
December 8, 2019 How to disappear completely I wanted to be an astronaut so bad as a kid. Dino and I used to spend our recess time sitting in a tire…
December 7, 2019 Immigrant song I come from a different land. My people settled the Santa Cruz River Valley back in 10,000 B.C., if we are to believe archeological…
December 7, 2019 Just try a little tenderness I live in a vertical city. Up and down. Up and down. Sometimes a little to the right or left. But mostly up some…
December 4, 2019 Baby, it’s cold outside Thanksgiving weekend was…complicated. I went in trying to gather all the life lessons that would shore me up for the triggers I anticipated encountering….
December 1, 2019 23&me I took a clerkship the first summer of law school at a swanky firm in Tucson, mostly on the feeling that it was the…
December 1, 2019 And this is how it starts On Friday, I went to Friendsgiving. The fun part: just talking with two kids I don’t really know. Kids. (22 and 26). The trying…
November 28, 2019 Thanksgiving Storytelling So now you’ll know something you probably never knew about me. It was a good story at GEMS tonight. First off, I wore my…
November 27, 2019 Lionsong When I was 21, I moved home to recover from PTSD that resulted from a protracted mugging at Grand Central Station. I couldn’t take…
November 27, 2019 You were meant for me If you only get one true love in life, he is mine. I used to get insanely jealous of anyone else stealing his attention….
November 26, 2019 I know what boys like Boys who are scrappy. Who are a bit rugged. Who know how a transmission works. Who can play a decent game of pool. Who…
November 26, 2019 Pure moods 💁🏻♀️: so what have you been up to? 💁🏼♀️: well you know, busy busy busy…just taking the kids to school and buying presents for…
November 24, 2019 Downright Kafka-esque “When he was 40, the renown Bohemian novelist and short story writer FRANZ KAFKA (1883–1924), who never married and had no children, was strolling…
November 24, 2019 Punk’s not dead This never happens. So I’m going to explain it. I was standing by the merch table after the show. And this guy I went…
November 23, 2019 Riddle me this, Batman Who do I know in Israel who would be looking at my blog? I can’t figure out if it’s a bot. First and second…
November 21, 2019 Last night I went out last night to meet Maddie in the west Village. My makeup was pretty crazy. It always is. But it was especially…
November 19, 2019 She lays down I messed up last night. By accident I sent an Instagram post about healing your inner child to Goran Visnjic, the hot Balkan dude…
November 17, 2019 I will survive Last week was all about releasing energy in positive ways, but also a lot of stress that comes with travel. Today is about harnessing…
November 16, 2019 But if you want to live in New York City, honey, you know I will I forgot to post this back when it happened: I live across from a men’s homeless shelter in Brooklyn. It’s not a big deal….
November 16, 2019 I’m weird therefore I am I like to start out with new friends by telling them I’m weird. Then they quickly tell me I’m not, as if to assure…
November 12, 2019 The Marais; 2004 There’s a gravel path that crunches under my feet. We’re racing against the light. A casual walk in our neighborhood in the 3rd arrondisement…
November 11, 2019 Interlude Ok folks. I’m at the airport. JFK with a 10:22 (edit: 22:10, thanks dylexia) flight to CDG. The people watching is choice. Unlike the…
November 9, 2019 I like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful and yet so unaware of it I love Paris in the springtime. I love Paris in the fall. I think you get where I’m going with this. On Sunday evening,…
November 7, 2019 Total eclipse of the heart April 8, 2024. A total eclipse of the sun, viewable from NYC. If I’m still alive and kicking by then I want a date…
November 6, 2019 My psychic said: A lot of things. That he wouldn’t wish NYC for his worst enemy, but it’s ideal for me. The creative forces and the higher…
November 6, 2019 I take one…one…one cuz you left me I sometimes (very rarely) get angry out of nowhere. I check myself pretty quickly. Am I hungry? Am I tired? Am I cold or…
November 5, 2019 Autism and disability Autism TEDx talk The average lifespan of an autistic is 54 years. Autistics are chronically unemployed or underemployed. They face health outcomes that are…
November 3, 2019 Meet Virginia Regrets are stones Loaded into lint-lined pockets Of an old winter coat So absorbent So encompassing That drags you down Below the surface Until…
October 31, 2019 UES Part 3: Halloween It’s drizzling outside, which is to say there are not drops big enough to necessitate an umbrella but it is so humid that any…
October 30, 2019 Let’s talk about sex Rolla Henri Gervex (1878) I’ve talked about having sex but have I talked about the sex itself here? I only say this because I…
October 28, 2019 Chuckles My first swing at stand up. The Estrogen Hour, September 2018. Laughs are more addictive than heroin. Or so I’ve heard. vene-stand-up.m4a
October 28, 2019 If you like piña coladas Did I tell this one already? I don’t know, so I’ll tell it again. As my marriage was collapsing, a lot of strange things…
October 27, 2019 Where is my mind? There are days when my brain fires on all cylinders and everything feels so good that I get greedy for stimulation. I want to…
October 24, 2019 Proud Mary I told a story at Halyards tonight. GEMS is a once a month show co-hosted by the inimitable Sharon Spell and loquacious Molly Cameron….
October 22, 2019 Cucurucucu paloma Today was rainy. Or at least misty enough to ruin one’s hair and others’ suede pumps. What a shame. Suede pumps are among my…
October 19, 2019 Tommy Boy These are more for me than for you but maybe you’ll like ’em too. I’ll probably edit this later. I really, really, really need…
October 15, 2019 Exclusif! Seulement en novembre! A Paris! I’m going to Paris November 11-15. I just bought the tickets. It’s my favorite thing to do in the whole wide world through the…
October 14, 2019 Cool girl blues, NYC, Summer 2017 How am I? How am I? I don’t even know where to start. For one thing, I’m on a Southwest flight, flying in the…
October 12, 2019 Time after time I don’t know why they always circle back but they do. I file them under finished business and forget about them. And then they…
October 11, 2019 In case of emergency, break glass and read this, Vene Emma Thompson on her failure at funny, Vogue I didn’t feel funny in class. Again. I drank seven cups of coffee today by accident….
October 10, 2019 UES pt. 2/I pulled into Nazareth just a feelin’ ’bout a half past dead I’m on the UES again. I just came from the dentist. My mouth is numb and I’m slurring my words a bit. I have…
October 9, 2019 Zat was zen and zis is now I’ve sinned a lot, I’m mean a lot But I’m like sweet seventeen a lot Bewitched, bothered and bewildered – am I Twenty-three years…
October 8, 2019 Audentis Fortuna Iuvat More than anything in the world, I just want to be inspired. I need a muse. Maybe a couple. I’ve been thinking about writing…
October 7, 2019 I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down I feel weak. I’ve been in bed almost exclusively for three days. I’m finally a man of my word. But it hasn’t been out…
October 6, 2019 She’ll make her way I got word from Tucson that people have been asking about me. They hope I am sticking it out. They say NYC can be…
October 5, 2019 De golpe The plan was simple. To see Pain and Glory, the new Almodóvar movie, at the Angelika on the LES. We bought tickets ahead of…
October 4, 2019 Turn around, look at what you see The Neverending Story clip All he has to do is give me a new name. He’s already chosen it. He just has to say…
October 3, 2019 At Seventeen So you’re a tough guy Like-it-really-rough guy Just-can’t-get-enough guy Chest-always-so-puffed guy I’m that bad type Make-your-mama-sad type Make-your-girlfriend-mad type Might-seduce-your-dad type I’m the bad…
October 1, 2019 It’s not living if it’s not with you Date was postponed for tomorrow night. The Bowery Electric. Ty Segall. Good thing because I need live music in my life. I honestly don’t…
October 1, 2019 Joe Versus The Volcano This movie came out when I was ten. I loved it for the zaniness. For the soundtrack. For Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. For…
October 1, 2019 Pablo Pablo Neruda (Né Ricardo Eliécer Neftalí Reyes Basoalto) 12 de julio de 1904 – 23 de septiembre de 1973
September 30, 2019 UES pt. 1: Movin’ on up Today was all about investments in the future and trips to the past. I’m on the UES by accident. At a diner, or what…
September 29, 2019 Johnny Lee Miller and funny feeling I get He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week… …and my Sunday rest. I’m in bed, on a glorious Sunday…
September 29, 2019 Takin’ it easy I’m in a Via on the LES, a block away from the AirBNB I stayed at for a few nights in June 2018. I…
September 27, 2019 Come rain or come shine Judy and Babs—Happy days/Shout Hallelujah I need a moment to compose myself. I just got out of the theater at the Angelika. I saw…
September 25, 2019 A pamphlet on the application for suitors; from a friend of the female sex; part one. I didn’t know what to expect. When I order men out of a catalog, I usually go on impulse. The more questions I have…
September 24, 2019 Après moi le deluge The Armenian said one thing that haunts me. He said that Russian women are the most romantic women ever. They are poor, fatherless and…
September 23, 2019 Letter to Vene, aged 35, from Vene, aged 40 Dear Vene, Congratulations, and my sincerest apologies. You have chosen to embark on a lifelong journey of writing. It is not without some serious…
September 21, 2019 There are suitors at my door Shakespeare, at heart, was a feminist. I couldn’t have said it better. SCENE I. A hall in LEONATO’S house. Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE,…
September 20, 2019 Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand// Sometimes you turn your back to the wind We lived in a relatively posh house for Tucson and for being in our twenties. Our house backed up onto a house rented to…
September 15, 2019 Darling I don’t know why I go to extremes// too high or too low there ain’t no in-betweens I went into this weekend world weary and just plain tired. I’ve been burning the candle at both ends. Talking late into the night,…
September 6, 2019 Kill the man bun you meet on the road…Part One These three dudes of Greenpoint they are Bespectacled bros, they traveled from far Fla-an-nel clad With money from Da-a-d And they all play guitar…
August 29, 2019 Paint by numbers: a mini reflection on what I am doing here As of today I have 90 posts, 601 visitors and 1,425 views on the blog I started back in May. I’ve written 44.2k words….
August 27, 2019 Stealth Dyslexia First read this: Stealth Dyslexia: Does Your Child Have An Issue I was gifted from the word “Go.” By two-years old I spoke Spanish…
August 25, 2019 Baby, now that I’ve found you I won’t let you go Last night I went to a history roast at Caveat with Maddie. It was a comedy show wherein comedians did power point presentations taking…
August 18, 2019 It’s not me, it’s you: article on fixed mindsets and the whiny liars who have them Fixed vs. Growth Mindsets This article is great at explaining certain types of people to me. Basically, it’s the gloomy types who think the…
August 13, 2019 And you alway try to do your best// And just pray for God to do the rest// When it’s family It was with heartbreak and terror that I first read the news last weekend. A man, armed with bullets and hatred, stoked by fear…
August 13, 2019 All that summer we enjoyed it, wind and rain and shine It’s drizzling and I can hear the sound of cars on wet asphalt outside. That sticky sound of masking tape being pulled from a…
August 6, 2019 Left of west and coming in a hurry with a fury It feels like the end, doesn’t it? At least to people with perception. I find myself holding back in mixed company. My ranting sounds…
July 30, 2019 Everything old is new again A year ago today, I was on the brink of moving to Brooklyn for a month. I had to get out of Arizona. The…
July 30, 2019 I feel like glitter I identify with Carrie so much. So so much. You can tell how I’m feeling by my glitter too. Right now I have eyelids…
July 23, 2019 His name was Mark Garity Mark Garity’s Murderer Sentenced To 20 Years They sentenced Mark Garity’s murderer yesterday to 20 years. He’d put a gun to Mark’s head and…
July 18, 2019 Observations on a voyage across a continent: Newark to Houston edition It’s a travel day, and you know what that means: weird observations about mundane things I make into giant deals. 1) I saw the…
July 16, 2019 Executive Functioning: the standard bearer of my autism First listen to this: Anxious Mess Podcast My friend Maddie, who has a graduate degree in Narrative Medicine from Columbia, sent it to me….
July 11, 2019 It’s not in my head: female pain and the doctors who refuse to acknowledge it So some mixed results today. I saw a doctor at no cost, but he failed to listen to me. He was perfunctory. He was…
June 30, 2019 I love my therapist and my therapist loves me When my therapist gives me advice in Star Wars terms because we’re both nerds.
June 28, 2019 Pride Eve I was gonna make a one minute video but I can’t because I wanna feel free to talk about what happened tonight and I…
June 27, 2019 That one time? At Peter Luger? When I was 20, back in 2000, the man I would marry (let’s call him Shmanny) worked for a tech company in Tucson. Now,…
June 24, 2019 Miscellany I decided to stop talking about the guys I go out with because, well, 1) I have to stop treating real live people like…
June 19, 2019 High functioning according to whom? From the outside I look normal. Well, fat and normal. Well, fat and maybe a bit eccentric. I’ve got red lipstick on, my bangs…
June 17, 2019 All I wanted was a Pepsi When I was three, I asked my dad’s secretary why she was an “India.” An “India” is a rather derogatory term in Spanish with…
June 17, 2019 And these children that you spit on To invoke a great writer, Chinua Achebe, things fall apart. Last October when I decided to move here, to Brooklyn, I thought I had…
June 13, 2019 Two nights left… This could be the PMS talking. Or just the existential angst that visits upon me at my birthday like some Dickensian ghost come to…
June 13, 2019 Just the facts: Saw Rooney (well just Robert Schwartzman) at Murmrr last night Hung out with Nathalia Met her friend Bob, who is an acclaimed music producer…
June 10, 2019 And the beat goes on: my bullies, my autism, myself I think I hit Christina once in second grade. I say “I think” because I don’t remember doing it even once, but repercussions were…
June 9, 2019 An embarrassment of riches Alright, alright, alright. I’m exhausted, but you knew that already. I’m at La Esquina being *forced* to drink free sangria given to me for…
June 6, 2019 One year later… Look, I can’t tell you the foolishness I got up to last night, but I’ve got a few thoughts: • A Colombian-Israeli Jazz musician…
June 4, 2019 One revolution, two revolution, three revolutions of GovBall Two years ago today I was lamenting my trip to NYC, something that I’d parsed over a thousand times, because I really liked the…
May 29, 2019 May 28, 2018 Her crazy stories were juxtaposed best by her childlike nature. She could curse like a sailor, but somehow it never seemed quite as vulgar…
May 28, 2019 Note to self My boxes came. Twenty-two plus a box spring. The poor Puerto Rican dude who dropped them off was struggling. He has the flu. Been…
May 20, 2019 The grande fête So many people have judgments. You’re not all fat, so I’m gonna share this with you. Maybe people don’t say things, but they think…
May 20, 2019 Side gigs and the hustle Of all the Tinder related businesses I’m going to start, one of them will be photography for douches. Men seem to think these photographs…
May 6, 2019 The Department Where do our prayers go…the ones that are not good for us? The ones that break our hearts to utter? But which we want,…
May 4, 2019 No matter how hard I try Sometimes when I’ve completely forgotten and my life is at peace, a song will come on and I am flooded with the most persistent…
May 1, 2019 Temp file for submission If pleasure and pain be two sides of the same coin, then there was a time when I was convinced I’d gotten a loaded…
April 26, 2019 On Being Peter Pan It’s funny that there are people who don’t know me from my 20’s. When I was old and ambitious. I was wicked and cruel….
April 25, 2019 May 7th Bed-Stuy here we come. A day picked arbitrarily. Hopefully auspicious. Funny things slip into my head. What will my last meal be? The last…
April 24, 2019 This could be the end of everything, so why don’t we go somewhere only we know It’s been way too long since I’ve been giddy and in love. I haven’t smiled at my phone in ages. I haven’t had What’sApp…
April 24, 2019 On The Theme Of Resentment I’ll never understand how one who could have expected so much of me, who took note of every one of my failures, and every…
April 23, 2019 Beware The Magpies I went out last night. In a see-thru yellow lace maxi dress with a black tank top and black Calvin Klein men’s shorty shorts…
April 21, 2019 Somethings you just don’t get over Just a guy. But I can’t even read his texts to use as dialog because my heart’s not over it. He makes me swoon…
April 21, 2019 Around my finger Sixteen, baby blue nail polish with a sparkly topcoat. Summer in Tucson. French class at 11 and nothing to do otherwise. My parents gone…
April 20, 2019 I found my home Imagine you grow up on a planet and the gravity makes you feel heavy. Everyone else can jump high or climb rocks or be…
April 20, 2019 The Israeli Dealbreaker I started dating at the age of thirty-six. I’d never had the opportunity before because I married my first boyfriend, and, in the aftermath…
April 20, 2019 How quickly things turn The night I met him, he was going on a second date with a Tinder hook up. He’d just moved out of a house…
April 17, 2019 Thesis Statement No one knew the real cost of our parents’ competition. I hid it too well under financial success. All the things Americans begin dreaming…
April 17, 2019 Days of Lawyering Past The Ties That Bind An article on the ability of tort victims to recover costs foregone by gratuitous caretaking I wasn’t even a litigator…
April 17, 2019 Reclaiming My Time In the course of my life, I’ve heard the same phrases over and over again: Vene, stop flirting with baristas and bartenders for free…
April 16, 2019 Wait, what was that? Did you just say I got the apartment in Bed Stuy? This is really happening? 1) YAAAAAAY! 2) FUUUUUUUUUCK. I need money and friends….
April 14, 2019 In The Beginning, There Was Fear I remember sitting in the front seat of my mom’s blue Lincoln. I am three. The car is in the garage of my grandparents’…
April 6, 2019 The chicken who started it all In my past life, I was the one in the family who cooked the food. Most of it, as requested by the controlling ex,…
April 1, 2019 Noise There’s this sound that I love. Street noises in Manhattan in the morning after it’s rained. I don’t know why the acoustics are different…
March 26, 2019 The Move Commences I’m so not controversial. I barely ever drink. I don’t really do drugs (except for the same two meds every night, forever and ever,…
