It wears me out

Two people explained a concept to me in different ways this weekend and it’s been helpful. I get very strong indicators of a person when I meet them. I know things about them within the first five minutes. Some people feel deceitful immediately. They feel dangerous. But I’m the only one who sees it. My […]

Lullaby

On a night when all I want to do is cry, I take a few mushrooms and start playing lullabies, working on a playlist for a little girl far away across the continent, who by force of will, will be the love of her father’s life. I start praying to Chopin. Prayer comes when I […]

Goodbye Earl

I’ve been trying to exorcise this ghost for a year. I got rid of WhatsApp. I blocked his number. He got a new phone to be able to call me. I blocked that too. He found me on Facebook Messenger. I blocked him on that. I wrote a story that I liked and I wanted […]

I feel for you

Last night Caithlin and I ended up talking with two different men at different times out by the beach. The first was a Jamaican named Treasure (not his real name). Big time flirt. He said he’d seen me before. It wasn’t a line. He had seen me before but I didn’t let on. It was […]

Bond

Time to conjure him. The him of the future. Artistic or appreciative of art and understanding of the lifestyle. Grounded. Sensual. Cowboy, in spirit if not in actuality. Super comfortable in his masculinity…no sad boys allowed. Dennis Quaid-like. In Parent Trap. No addicts. Spry, if not young. Comfortable with hanging out and talking or NOT […]

Woo woo 2022

When I got my tarot read this past week I got the same damn messages that I get every time. I’m a channel and and my purpose is to share the esoteric things that I’ve learned; and I have all the tools I need to do it. Why can’t my purpose be something a whole […]

Free

Heaven and hell may all exist simultaneously. Freedom is found within. To do things with intention and conviction. To feel engaged in the course of one’s life. To feel agency instead of subjugation or mere passivity. Last night I saw the crescent moon dangle over the Brooklyn skyline and I felt the joy of being […]

Asani told me

I re-listened to the audio recording of my session with Elana from May 2021 and a lot of it resonated with me. Patience, breathing, not taking substances, not giving into revenge or dark magic, the fact that I’m not alone, the fact that I can call upon others in my time of need. That I […]

24 hrs/4 acts/Bourdain

I.Tyler was maybe gonna come over last night but he’s injured and lacking in sleep. Baseball. I was maybe gonna order cheesecake and then started shredding carrots (and two knuckles) to make a cake. But it was hot. And I wanted to see J. Turns out he wanted to see me after he got out […]