New Slang

The Shins @ Radio City Music Hall with Asani. FREE tickets. I’d never been. It’s spectacular. Breathtaking. Experiencing things with Asani is always frenetic and joyous. We notice the same things. Numbers everywhere. Signs. We’re very similar. Our brains go to the same places. Things I can’t really talk to anyone else about. And she’s […]

I wanna carry all of your children

They say that familiarity breeds contempt. I’m not sure it does, but it certainly takes the varnish of mystery off. Laid bare, people either become endearing or insufferable. Or both. For those of us who are sensitive, who have a lens that captures truths, the world can be a difficult place to navigate. We know […]

Goodbye Earl

I’ve been trying to exorcise this ghost for a year. I got rid of WhatsApp. I blocked his number. He got a new phone to be able to call me. I blocked that too. He found me on Facebook Messenger. I blocked him on that. I wrote a story that I liked and I wanted […]

My baby takes the morning train

Tyler and I got to talking on Friday about his brothers and their relationships. The responsibility they take and the roles they play. The enigmas that exist. How the outside brother in whatever iteration can never really understand how the other two get along so well and what bonds them. Nikola talks about his brothers […]

Let’s hear it for the boy

It’s 4:38. I’ve just gotten home and taken my sleeping pill. Let’s see what I bang out before sleepy time. I have a beach date tomorrow and I’ve gotta be bright eyed and bushy tailed. I was *supposed* to go dancing tonight. I cut my hair. Got dolled up. Put on a face. But I […]

On the way

Stuff I talked about with Tyler yesterday while hanging around the LES (non-exhaustive list): • John Steinbeck’s letter writing• museums and memorials in the D.C. area• Rage Against The Machine• what it’s like to be queen of a mental hospital ward• Revel scooters• brother stuff• band stuff• movies• my writing• Samuel Fuller Stuff I refused […]

Last train

City night. I went to see this old film called The Swimmer at Metrograph on Ludlow. Beautiful modern theater with a balcony. The film is based on a short story by John Cheever. It stars Burt Lancaster as this golden god who gets toppled. People laughed at things that weren’t meant to be funny. The […]

I am free

A lot of people I love dearly have never been head over heels in love. They ask me what it feels like. I explain it in terms of neurotransmitters. Serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin. How each of those feel independently. I explain it in colors. In the feeling in being enveloped in a weighted blanket. Of floating […]