If you like what you read or you get something out of coming here, please consider a donation to my Venmo account. I’m an unemployed autistic living in NYC. Anything helps. I don’t write for the money. I write because I am trying to connect with the universal humidity. Thanks.

Did I want to know of fire?

There aredaysin whichIwish I’dnever metyou Never knownto beknownwhatitis to be known Never feltwhat it istobetouched Icatch myselfrememberingyouknowing meAndthechasmunknitsitself andsags wide intotheshapeof you Was it betterto have knownvouevenfor a movementthanto havewalked thisworld certainthat no onecould possiblyunderstand? Orto havefelt vou mergeintome…onlyto be lashedupon thisrock and havethebits ofyouI kept pecked out anewdayafterdayafterday?

We called it America

Yesterday was hard. I heard the news and cried in the shower. I know that my abortion was the right thing to do but only because of how bad things would have turned out if I hadn’t gotten it. So you can’t pull one thread without the whole cloth coming apart. You can’t bring up […]

Don’t you worry bout a thing

Last night I white knuckled it. Couldn’t sleep. Got worried about things that absolutely nothing could change in the course of the wee hours. Woke up and started worrying some more. How quickly life turns. Two nights ago everything felt real and grounded. But sometimes real and grounded is lonely and scared. Bri came through. […]

Apomorphine pt. 2

I’m in love with ghosts. Parts of this one. And parts of that. Love so intense it would make you lightheaded. So it doesn’t feel like a loss to have someone flirt with you when that taught rope doesn’t tug. Anytime I need passion, I dial up a memory. A photo. A flutter. I know […]

They say it’s your birthday

6/15/2022 Jack installed the bidet for my birthday. That means a lot if you know Jack. I was touched. I put on makeup and then felt itchy so I took off all the makeup and now I’m going out with practically no makeup and it’s fine because I’m a grown up and my friends know […]

Gimme a man after midnight

I don’t have a strong sense of what’s going on out there in the world. I fundamentally don’t understand a lot. I end up filling in gaps of knowledge by listening and then putting things together. I’m surprised by facts that everyone takes for granted all the time. When truth does finally reveal itself I […]

You put the lime in the coconut

Travis and I talked about The 1975 and Matty Healy last night. At Superpower. Tiki bar in Crown Heights. We talked about going to the show the next time they play. And how we’re going to cry just watching them play. We’ve been talking about seeing them for years. We had tickets for their last […]

Social distortions

I accompanied Harry to an open mic last night in Ridgewood. I crossed county lines. The weather was good so why the hell not? I’ve never intentionally attended a music open night. I had no preconceptions of what would be played, only that it might be fascinating from a character assembly perspective. People don’t go […]

The play is the thing!

Of all the places I imagined spotting Isaac Mizrahi, it wasn’t in a basement on the UES. And yet, my friends, that is the very spot in which I…um…spotted the man in the flesh. He narrated a sort of NYC sequel to Peter and the Wolf, this time moved from the Russian forest in winter […]