April 13, 2021 Tired to death More medical stuff today. I’ve been trying out a concierge medical service that doesn’t do much called Forward. I have an HMO, which means…
April 10, 2021 Franco unAmerican I can talk about this now because the threat is temporarily abated. I couldn’t talk about it before because the implications were both personal…
April 7, 2021 So maybe later, man If I’m grateful for one thing in Covid, it is that I don’t have to deal with inebriated neurotypical single people out in the…
April 5, 2021 I heard you all the way from here It’s 64 degrees outside today and, if you were here in my room, you’d think it was Mardi Gras. Regular people celebrate with noise….
April 4, 2021 Electric love I ripped my heart into shreds and swore I’d never love again. Only I’d made confetti and streamers for future celebrations. The pieces are…
March 29, 2021 Lady Stardust It’s a Ziggy Stardust kind of day. My favorite people in the world are authentically weird. I think they’ve all made me wince at…
March 23, 2021 Yo te quiero tanto Taking care of myself like it’s my job. Tonight I made green pozole: On weekends, I like to make big batches of flavor rich…
March 21, 2021 The rite of spring Depression isn’t how they paint it. It comes and goes like the tide, lulling you with gently sloped beaches and then inundating you. It…
March 20, 2021 Morning has broken Some mornings I wake up to pain. Of stretchy ligaments pressed too long in one position. Achey ribs, bent ankles and wrists. And cortisol…
March 15, 2021 Nada te turbe, nada te espante Acuérdate de esta noche. Del hueco que aparece cuando pongas tu autoestima en las manos de otros. Acuérdate del sentido de debilidad. Del peso…
March 14, 2021 Qué difícil tratar de olvidarte Nothing like heartache to bring out the Mexican in me. I am my father’s daughter. This song is about the last meeting of two…
March 11, 2021 Freeze frame Spring is upon us and so is the partying. Sunday was a lunch that blew into dinner with Lee in Little Italy at a…
March 9, 2021 Dopamine and me: thoughts on autism, dyslexia, social deficits Note: I’m reading a lot today. I didn’t cite anything on this blog post but any fact that wasn’t personal came from reading a…
March 6, 2021 El poder de la transfiguración Por la noche, vestida en mi armaduraPor el desafíoPor la conquista Ojos de una cazadoraVoz baja y mesuradaRespiración constante y resuelta Yo soy la…
March 2, 2021 On the other side of the door You talk in metaphorsThat pave over rough emotionsLeaving only smoothed outlinesHinting at shapes I want to eavesdrop on your soulPut a glass to your…
February 28, 2021 Somewhere between a point and a line Fractals are about the complex dimensions that lie between the dimensions we acknowledge. A point, a line, a plane, an object… I live between…
February 26, 2021 This is how it starts 02.26.2016: The 1975 came out with their second album entitled I Love It When You Sleep For You Are So Beautiful Yet Unaware Of…
February 22, 2021 Happy trees: the wood wide web So many things I did not know Someone once cut me down to a stumpI waited to decay until nothing remainedI waited in vain…
February 19, 2021 Stuck in my brain: memory, failure and paradigm shifts Yesterday I wrote about creative breakthroughs coming from unexpected places. Artists and scientists who get stuck in a dead end have learned to reverse…
February 18, 2021 Random shocks: local optimums and getting unstuck It’s a snow day. And I was feeling stuck…until I saw Matty Healy’s Instagram stories that included Brian Eno’s deck of Oblique Strategies: Here’s…
February 18, 2021 Intuition: what almost killed the cat and what’s bringing her back Intuition is a funny thing. You’d think it would make life easier, but it’s not always the case. I remember being little and getting…
February 13, 2021 Here am I encased inside a hollow shell February 12th. A year to the day since I broke up with J. I didn’t even flinch. Or look back. I patched things up…at…
February 9, 2021 The mean reds There are good days and bad days and in-between days. Lots of days. And there there are days like today, when I am reacquainted…
February 8, 2021 Return to The Standard, 2021 I summoned youOn the 17th floorA vertical time machineAn invocation Bare feetOn a tiled floorGrounded, mid airA meditation Good water pressureAnd a Beethoven scoreFluffy…
February 2, 2021 It is a good night for ghosts I woke up to a blizzard this morning. My first ever. Until you’ve lived in snow, you don’t know how quiet it can be….
January 28, 2021 The forum The search for sentient life, if I may call it that, is the result of connection so real and so rewarding that I’ve become…
January 24, 2021 Moon shots: thoughts from the salon on Marcus Garvey Last night Maddie and I discussed the planned improvements to the Port Authority bus station in Times Square. I went on a bit of…
January 23, 2021 Brooks Brothers Date Rapists: the obligatory Promising Young Woman post It’s fabulous. Dangerous Liaisons level fabulous. Count of Monte Cristo level fabulous. Everyone should have to watch it. If you’re a woman and you…
January 21, 2021 A case of the Mondays January is a liarHe comes to tell me things have begun anewAnd I am to start over freshOn a clean sheet of paper in…
January 19, 2021 1.20.2009: A new hope View this post on Instagram A post shared by VA (@vene_la_green_eyez)
January 17, 2021 Look, I told you guys a million times, I ain’t no grasshopper Passing for white/masking as neurotypical is like being a cricket who looks a lot like a grasshopper to other grasshoppers in a grasshopper-dominated society….
January 17, 2021 You’re my best friend I got to thinking while the kettle boiled just now: There was a guy named Brandon, years ago in Tucson, whom I really really…
January 15, 2021 Geography When we were youngAnd a twin bed was more than enough to shareBut we ordered a pizza eachAnd your arm fell asleep under my…
January 13, 2021 Nevermore What do dolphins plan for?Not the right bag that will carry the wallet, the keys, the hand sanitizerOr the train that sometimes comes lateOr…
January 12, 2021 Hell is other people’s children I almost exclusively socialize with people who don’t want to have kids. It goes beyond that. They think kids and babies are repulsive. They…
January 11, 2021 Capitol hijinks and performative outrage What a week, huh?Was I surprised that rioters stormed the Capitol? No. Not even a little bit. When the first person mentioned it to…
January 10, 2021 Threatening the life it belongs to I’m watching the Fran Liebowitz series on Netflix and my brain is on fire. I agree with 99% of what she says (but disagree…
January 5, 2021 Touchstone When I begin to doubt myself And everything I feel And everything I’ve ever believed to be true It is because so many before…
January 3, 2021 There she goes again I made my 2021 list and got it in before the stroke of midnight on FB but I’ll repost here: Before I forget, the…
December 31, 2020 Because the night: Punk, jokes and a little frightened girl Note: this is one of those late Gen Xer’s lamentations of growing up in the pre-Internet days. I beg thee, dear reader, forgive the…
December 30, 2020 Pet peeves A list of pet peeves in no particular order: And a pet peeve of Bette Middler’s that led to good.
December 29, 2020 2020: a story in song View this post on Instagram A post shared by VA (@vene_la_green_eyez) A story compiled from the life I lived this year and the lessons…
December 29, 2020 Instagram highlights: 2020 I began documenting my life in a new way this year. Lots of people use Instagram. But this is how I use it: Tucson…
December 29, 2020 What’s the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom? Lipstick. I’m known at this point for wearing lipstick. It’s like a calling card. Before Covid, I wore liquid lipstick and regular lipstick but…
December 28, 2020 Hillary/Hilaria: what’s in a name? I grew up a white-appearing girl in American border town with an American mother of Mexican ancestry and a Mexican father who’d immigrated to…
December 27, 2020 If you make sure you’re connected, the writing’s on the wall Tl; dr: I went to a fun party. But this isn’t about the party. It’s about how I interact with the world. I’m never…
December 25, 2020 Thoughts about James Burke while watching You’ve Got Mail I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Jeff Bezos is the uberfurher of the current age. He made his bones off of discounting books….
December 25, 2020 Take it slow: how to make real friends when you’re autistic I am impatient in new friendships because I don’t know if the person is of their word yet or if they are like most…
December 23, 2020 But all I can see is red, red, red…(pt. 2) Part one here. I have a disability. And it is so fundamental that it expresses itself in a myriad of ways. I say autism…
December 22, 2020 2020: an Earth odyssey 2020 is the year of the caretaker. Anyone who works in the direct service of others. Doctors and nurses and medical staff yeah, but…
December 22, 2020 Baby, you can drive my car So sue me, I’m on a Beatles kick. Three times I went to the Hertz rental car place off of Eastern Parkway this year….
December 22, 2020 Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery: Christi Smythe and Martin Shekreli and the world of conformity Ew. She fell for a negging beta male. Another reporter went on a Tinder date with him just to write about it. He liked…
December 20, 2020 I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose* *The irony of discussing autism and mental illness with a song featuring Sia is not lost on me. She’s persona non grata in the…
December 18, 2020 Snowflake: Odyssey storytelling Phil Gordon reached out to me to invite me to tell a story for The Odyssey in Tucson for December’s Snowflake show. I didn’t…
December 18, 2020 Strong is only part of the title Some songs just come when they’re needed. Never before had I heard this song until today but it was what I needed to hear….
December 18, 2020 You’ve gotta open up your eyes to see Snakes shed skin when they outgrow it. But the process of shedding also helps to remove harmful parasites. I have shed my exterior many…
December 18, 2020 Where have all the cowboys gone? I haven’t unpacked this yet, but I can’t stand a whiny man. Yes, everyone gets to be vulnerable. Everyone gets to fall down. But…
December 17, 2020 Here to face the fortune and the bile City life told in the contents of a purse: The purse I stole from my sister Andrea in 1996. It has mother of pearl…
December 16, 2020 Maneater Yesterday was not a day. It was a day and a half packed into 24 hours. Too much to retell in full, so I’ll…
December 14, 2020 He’s been pretty much yellow and I’ve been pretty much blue (pt. 1) Thanks to Fiona Apple who gives me words when I don’t have them or the courage to say the ones I really do feel….
December 13, 2020 So many allies, so many allies How you love them in the evening, when they hold your hand in crosswalks. When you both start talking at the same time because…
December 11, 2020 Si a una vez me olvido In the moment, I saythis hurts;this nick at the corner of my mouththat cracked open some day recentlyin the past. It will not healand…
December 10, 2020 Tetraptych: sketches done in ball-point pen PART ONE:I can take care of myself but I don’t know if I could do that if I had a job. I’m proud of…
December 7, 2020 Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older There is a condominium complex in the beachfront town of San Carlos. The exteriors are white stucco with rod iron stairs leading to the…
December 6, 2020 Now John at the bar is a friend of mine There was this kid I grew up from middle school with who was whip crack smart. He was popular and a jock and nothing…
December 5, 2020 Friends in low places I remember when ice sculptures were a sign of class. Before they became luges for sickly sweet drinks drunk by Pi Phis and Thetas….
December 4, 2020 That’s my daughter Between fourth and fifth grade my parents took us to Orlando to go to Disney World. I had caught bronchitis immediately before this in…
December 2, 2020 Viva la vida Can you sense your destiny? I think for most people this isn’t a question they ponder. I think for some people, delusion plays a…
December 2, 2020 What’s my age again? Neurodiversity, executive functioning and time management In typical Vene fashion, I confused the dates. The talk is tomorrow. Now I wish I realized that before I woke up at 8…
November 30, 2020 Nothing’s gonna stop us now Being alone is a gift. Having free time is a gift. Having access to books and great minds, likewise. This winter, my goals are:…
November 29, 2020 The Rons and the Harrys Maddie and I had this discussion on Wednesday after the dinner party with Mikey, Tyler and Trav. The burning question: Why did Hermione end…
November 26, 2020 Apomorphine It’s not like I wasn’t forewarned. I had an inside tip on this. I had eyes opened wide. A lifetime of experience. And I…
November 18, 2020 What I didn’t expect from watching Season 3 of The Crown…it’s a doozy All is good. I am safe. I am warm. I am loved. But tonight took an unexpected turn down memory lane to a time…
November 17, 2020 I will possess your heart One day soon into the fall semester of second grade, in the backseat of her mother’s car on the way home from school, Tory…
November 13, 2020 Harder, better, faster, stronger 2020, amirite? But honestly, what has it all been for? Maddie and I pondered this question til almost 3 in the morning while sitting…
November 10, 2020 Studio 54 exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum I edited together some of the video and photos I got at the museum exhibit I attended last Friday. I needed to practice editing….
November 8, 2020 Election night, 2020 I’ve just been in my room all day, well since 5 a.m. when I went to bed, and oatmeal cooking and coconut water drinking…
November 5, 2020 Nogales, Arizona: The myth of the monolith Latino voter dispelled in microcosm Let me tell you about how complex the “Latino” vote is in Nogales. Prior to the 1980’s, Santa Cruz County was the most stable…
November 1, 2020 Mexico lindo y querido: Day of The Dead (Día de los muertos) (2017)I miss Día De Los Muertos in Tucson. I used to make own headbands. It was an important part of my life in my…
November 1, 2020 Think of me what you will, I’ve got a little space to fill I actually do have an idea for a screenplay that I think could work. I don’t know how other writers get their ideas, but…
October 30, 2020 In times when we don’t know I finished The Queen’s Gambit. I loved it. I don’t know about chess, but it was engaging. I didn’t sleep well last night. Nothing…
October 27, 2020 Killer Queen: The Queen’s Gambit and the price of genius When Anne of Green Gables was young, more than anything, she wanted three things: to find kindred, to beat Gilbert Blythe, and for her…
October 26, 2020 How do you talk to an angel…of doom? This is the worst song ever manufactured for a fake band to sing for a spin off of Melrose Place. And one of the…
October 23, 2020 Tyler: in pictures So Ty is coming out with a new album and we’ve been talking about image. It’s not pertinent to him as an artist. It’s…
October 19, 2020 I’m not the man they think I am at home Miki (otherwise known as the Observant Israeli) came over today and we just hung out for seven hours. We used to…em… but today were…
October 16, 2020 A second thought Weekday mornings bring about clarity and vulnerability. I am too honest. And there is a beast inside me that roars. She is protecting me…
October 15, 2020 Pure moods If you want to summon your soulmate, just say the two words: pot roast. Maddie read those words and zoomed on over last night,…
October 12, 2020 Westward ho! Just in case ya need something on the road…part of a little list I’ve been keeping. MUSIC: Khruangbin (Pichfork Live–Chill stuff) Quantic (Vinyl Set–Chill…
October 12, 2020 Everything’s alright I’m watching a scary movie in the middle of a rainy day, in flannel pajamas. It’s The Haunting of Bly House, which is an…
October 11, 2020 I’ll be the hero you’ve been dreaming of One of the things it took me to get this far (in life) was the assistance of allies. Specifically badass chicks who gave no…
October 10, 2020 No, you just have to wait Ok, Vene, the electrical storm has passed and you had some clarity. So get this down and come back here the next time. Your…
October 9, 2020 Not the best poem, but I tried 28 and 2/3A poem about the Pioneer Hotel fire December 19, 1970There’s a party going on upstairsI figure I’ll score a couple of drinksAnd…
October 5, 2020 60 Minutes: employees with Autism, Anderson Cooper and me…a diversity and inclusion speaker If you were watching 60 Minutes last night, you might have caught Anderson Cooper’s segment on companies seeking out potential employees with autism. I…
October 5, 2020 Ghost Town When I’m down, the way I am now, I look exhaustively for tiny discoveries of hope, usually couched in some artistic expression just existing…
October 3, 2020 Gratium manibus There are noses to be considered. Lips to be coveted. Eyes to be adored. Hair to be admired. Chests to be explored. Voices which…
October 2, 2020 I know this much is true If I just stare at the blocks on my quilt, fuschia flowers embroidered on yellow backgrounds, the year could be 2020 or 2004. It…
October 2, 2020 Where’ve all sensations gone? I don’t have to be strong for anyone today. Pleasant for anyone. Kind to anyone. I don’t have it in me. Usually I can…
October 2, 2020 Wonderful tonight Tyler and I got to talking tonight about love. Not about us…we’re just nerdy friends who get together to talk about nerdy stuff (tonight…
September 30, 2020 No one gets off scott free We’ve gone through a whole wheelhouse of emotion during Covid. In February we had the medical professionals telling us not to worry. The flu…
September 29, 2020 Sincerity is scary Such silly, little imposters, words. A grey sky is not a grey sky. And no amount of artistry or craft can convey the experience….
September 27, 2020 It’s just a silly phase I’m going through I’m watching a French documentary on the lives of Les Grandes Horizontales…cocottes…courtesans…prostitutes. I couldn’t tell you why, but I think if we do recycle…
September 24, 2020 Baby, won’t you let me have a little time to hide? In all things I am inconstant. My mood vacillates from extreme to extreme. I am capricious. I crave attention, and when it eludes me,…
September 18, 2020 Spaceship I got a seasonal job working at Williams-Sonoma in 2013. I thought it could be fun. I’d never worked retail and every job I’d…
September 17, 2020 Who’s that girl? They were young once. Blood coursed through their veins. Air through their lungs. They had passions and fears. What were they thinking about? What…
September 17, 2020 The Flapper By Dorothy Parker The Playful flapper here we see,The fairest of the fair.She’s not what Grandma used to be, —You might say, au contraire.Her…
September 16, 2020 The time to hesitate is through I have to write this because it’s been plaguing me for some time now and I think I finally understand why. I have very…
September 13, 2020 Scruffy lookin’ nerf herder I’ve waited so long to watch Episode IX. Why? Not because I heard it was bad, but because I’d finally have to say goodbye…
September 13, 2020 Video killed the radio star Gender reveal parties, aside from being incindiary, are performative, right? They’re done for the Gram. Remember flash mob proposals? Done for YouTube? Or just…
September 11, 2020 Or you can start speaking up I am not the sum total of my trauma. Most days I can walk around divorced of its implications that once kept me from…
September 9, 2020 My Poor Brain I’m going to walk you through all the awkwardness of something pretty standard that will wipe me of four days’ energy. I’m at Planned…
September 6, 2020 I’m lost in the supermarket Ownership of information is the exercise of overdeveloped egos. The need to possess things, even intangible things like obscure references and deep cuts, comes…
September 6, 2020 Hello, is it me you’re looking for? I’ve neglected you, dear reader, of late. I’ve been spending the past few weeks creating Instagram stories and sifting through mutual feelings with someone…
August 26, 2020 But I know better I want to write about this in a way that is honest. You need to know that I knew better from the first night…
August 24, 2020 I am thinking it’s a sign I’m sorry, but this is going to be a mish mash of a million things that only came to light today in their totality…
August 22, 2020 A new name for everything You asked for a pseudonym, so you got one. Voldemort…he who must not be named…but we’ll just go with V. I’m not sure I…
August 18, 2020 The Pauls and the Johns I’m a pragmatist. And a believer in hope. These things lead me to look toward the future. I know the past well enough…I’m much…
August 12, 2020 Higher ground My stomach hurts in the same way it did in third grade when I forgot to do my homework and got saddled with a…
August 10, 2020 All day and all of the night On the train and thinking. My most cherished quality I have about myself is my tenacity. I don’t give up. Not in goals and…
August 8, 2020 Ready to go Michael’s bar mitzvah was the event of summer 1992. His parents rented out the banquet hall at La Paloma and people flew in to…
August 8, 2020 Send it out into the blue I can’t help but think of my mom. It isn’t the same but it’s as close as anyone’s ever gotten. ——————– I got the…
August 8, 2020 Good Those last times With the men I’ve known When we knew it was good bye And not just so long They’ve had time to…
August 6, 2020 You didn’t know me when I don’t know where I’m going with this, but it’s here so I should examine it. Cynicism isn’t really my strong suit. I don’t…
August 6, 2020 Kindness View this post on Instagram The ever glorious and wonderful Emma Thompson reads “Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye. Emma would like to dedicate this…
August 6, 2020 Please don’t bend Last night was a deep dive into 2016-2017 when I was figuring things out and everything was so very messy. I couldn’t keep my…
August 4, 2020 Wicked Game The most awful thing I ever did, I did by accident. May 2, 2016: I went to a Posies show at R Bar in…
July 28, 2020 Self-promos and other nonsense View this post on Instagram @amyshark #sinkin #lipsync #snapchat A post shared by VA (@vene_la_green_eyez) on Jul 27, 2020 at 10:23pm PDT I don’t…
July 27, 2020 Poesia que escribo cuando no puedo escribir ninguna otra cosa Vente A mi barrio A mi casa A mi lado Vente Para verme A tocarme Hazme daño Vente Tengo prisa Tengo hambre Tengo dudas…
July 25, 2020 I’ll be your whatever you want Why does it matter Who loved me Who saw me once as a woman Who craved me Who lamented my loss Who reached out…
July 24, 2020 Boy, you’ve got me so confused Something’s up and I don’t know what. I’m fine. But I’m feeling a disturbance in the force. I checked in with myself. I’m good,…
July 23, 2020 I wanna get better I’m going through the blog and reading over everything this week. I’m trying to distill all these posts and figure out what my writing…
July 22, 2020 Third date sex I was talking to Tyler recently about dating in general and he mentioned third date sex. What is third date sex? Literally having sex…
July 21, 2020 My Sharona* This post is kind of a data dump. I went through an old DISC assessment that I did in 2015. There was a commercial…
July 20, 2020 It’s only just out of reach, down a block on a beach I’ll try to keep this one short but sweet, but I’m not making any promises. 2017 (May): I meet Dan, the 🦄. I swipe…
July 13, 2020 Gossip folks Plummers test sewer lines by pouring dye down a drain and waiting for it to show up in the sewer feed at the curb….
July 10, 2020 Time, time, time, see what’s become of me Timing, right. It’s crucial. When to release a film for Oscar contention. When to leave the house to get to the airport in time…
July 5, 2020 A quien le pertenece To Vene on her 17th birthday: Happy birthday you little weirdo! Take a pause while I shower you with advice. Life is about to…
July 4, 2020 Let America be America Again; July 4th, 2020 Let America Be America Again Langston Hughes (1902-1967) Let America be America again. Let it be the dream it used to be. Let it…
July 2, 2020 Like children often do: Children’s programming as a subversive act and how to bring UCB back I’ve been kicking this idea around for a decade. It came initially, and probably subconsciously at first, from a movie I saw as a…
June 29, 2020 Come-a listen to my story bout a man named Jed: Mexico and renewable energy Last night my dad told me that the American Ambassador pulled the Mexican Secretary of State into a meeting to complain about Mexico’s corruption…
June 28, 2020 Carefree: Let’s give people some (safe) space This article is really well-written and hopefully it helps people see why we not only need to value POC safe spaces but protect them…
June 27, 2020 I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates I woke up this morning feeling incredibly loved by someone. I don’t even know who. Just I felt confidence and stability and a toggle…
June 24, 2020 It’s, like, so bitchin’ Ok, so like OMG, misogyny is totally hidden in a lot of places. Even in linguistic bias. Girls spread linguistic trends faster. They are…
June 23, 2020 A Little Bit of Rain Marcus Garvey is quiet tonight. 3:34. Is that morning? It’s a rarity in normal times, but even more pronounced laid against I don’t even…
June 21, 2020 I know a place: altruism, the misguided New Man and how to get people to care Are you familiar with the concept of the New Man? It has its roots in religion and philosophy and has been used by political…
June 20, 2020 Summer in the city 2000: I was on scholarship at Princeton. Something I’d earned. When I got the news in an email at the Center for English as…
June 20, 2020 Oh bondage! Up yours! Do you remember 2018? June was probably the worst month. Women who’d felt disenfranchised by Trump were finally awakening and seeing what was happening…
June 18, 2020 Fortunate Son Father’s Day is on Sunday, and I thought about waiting until then to post this. But I feel it now, so, it’s early. I…
June 14, 2020 I’ve got an idea for a movie: Turning 41 You know the body swap genre? Movies in which two characters gain insight by switching bodies, or one goes forward or back in their…
June 13, 2020 Aqui estoy establecido “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” –Martin Luther King DESDE LA CUARTA DECLARACIÓN DE LA SELVA LACANDONA EZLN, 1 Enero, 1996, Chiapas,…
June 12, 2020 Man, I feel like a woman: JK Rowling’s defense and some thoughts I just read JK Rowling’s defense of her stance on trans women and it’s kind of a mess. I’ll try to articulate her arguments…
June 9, 2020 Taking care of business: government reform and the passing of the baton The Preamble of the American Constitution (1787) states: “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish…
June 6, 2020 And you do what they told ya: autism and pathological demand avoidance Brass Against, for these who don’t know is a Rage Against The Machine cover band. If you don’t know the song, it’s from 1992…
June 6, 2020 And crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea How can I not be in love with this life? I’m intoxicated by it every single day here in NYC. Even with my back…
June 5, 2020 And they’re all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same In this moment where ignorance is revealing itself, even amongst earnest allies, I want to take a minute to thank the “teachers” in my…
June 2, 2020 What white pacifists don’t understand about their pleas for peace and their use of police violence against peaceful protesters I need to make you hip to something because some of you out there think you know what you’re talking about when you call…
June 1, 2020 A change is gonna come: Brooklyn 2020/Tucson 2011 This isn’t the time for me to share with you my personal grief. This is a time for others to take the mic. At…
June 1, 2020 Wish I had a socket-set to dismantle this morning In the early morning, when the weather cooled down to the fifties and Marcus Garvey stilled, I opened my bedroom window and listened to…
May 31, 2020 The time to hesitate is through I’m in withdrawal. I ask myself, is it thirst? No. Hunger? No. Some vitamin deficiency? No. Alcohol? Cigarettes? Caffeine? No, no, no. I have…
May 30, 2020 A riot of our own Bastille Day is July 14th. It’s the French national holiday. It is the day that the French working class, sick and tired of being…
May 30, 2020 No hard feelings Most nights, I rest well. I fall asleep to podcasts on astronomy or this audiobook Behave I’ve been listening to over and over. Sometimes…
May 24, 2020 These days I’m at SFO sitting in a fun swivel chair with my feet up, listening to Mark Ronson’s Version album. I don’t know when the switch went…
May 24, 2020 It’s just a jump to the left I’m sitting outside, the first and last night spent by my sister Andrea’s pool. We spent time in it today. The weather was great….
May 21, 2020 Trolls I have one, which is weird. It doesn’t make me feel anything but perplexed that someone would take time to heckle me…more than once….
May 21, 2020 Fight the power When I was in high school, our biology book had this picture in it (or something similar). And for IB Biology we had to…
May 19, 2020 The power of love (or sex…whatever) Teen sex was fun for me. That’s the great thing about losing your virginity to a friend with no emotions involved. It meant there…
May 18, 2020 No sleep til…Brooklyn I feel a little broken tonight. It’s taken so much out of me. I just want someone to come and tell me they will…
May 17, 2020 Message in a bottle Edit: Originally published on 5/17/2020 7/22/2020: I took this down because it felt pretentious at the time, but I’m putting it back up because…
May 16, 2020 Halcyon days There was a time when I learned the sacred values of words. If you overuse a word it can lose its meaning, its power….
May 15, 2020 El fukú y la zafa Curses are tricky things. They come on in ways you don’t see. They don’t seem like curses until you are in the middle of…
May 14, 2020 When the party’s over My goal with Instagram is to learn how to tell stories, even made up ones, in novel ways. I’m not there for the vanity….
May 13, 2020 Just my imagination (running away with me) It’s warm outside today, but there’s a bit of a breeze and plenty of shade on this porch. And the far sounds of the…
May 13, 2020 To the next boy I fall in love with: a primer Hi, so you’re the guy, huh? Interesting. It’s funny because I tend to have a type, and you’re nothing like it. I don’t think…
May 10, 2020 Listen to your heart: advice to you when you feel stuck I’m here in Tucson. I have a flight out, for now at least. I don’t know if I should extend my stay or go…
May 6, 2020 Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz I have accepted the 10 Days of Birthday Gifts challenge from no one in particular. My birthday is June 15th, and with shipping the…
May 6, 2020 Good vibrations–autism and woo woo Autism, women and the woo woo. This. Is. Brilliant. Why don’t I look strangers in the eye? It’s super intimate. I’m not less sensitive….
May 6, 2020 Into the mystic Tonight, I am listening to punk music and remembering every boy I ever crushed on for knowing how to skate or play guitar or…
May 5, 2020 Even the world needs a rest Listen. Ten times. View this post on Instagram #Repost @oranicuhh with @get_repost ・・・ had some shit to address. “my whole mood is blown” out…
May 5, 2020 Momma told me not to come Ok, so here’s the real twisted shit, but first, a little backstory. When I was in high school, I was chum. I was what…
May 5, 2020 Hang on in there I have accepted the 10 Days of Birthday Gifts challenge from no one in particular. My birthday is June 15th, and with shipping the…
May 5, 2020 Stayin’ Alive I have accepted the 10 Days of Birthday Gifts challenge from no one in particular. My birthday is June 15th, and with shipping the…
May 2, 2020 Ode to my favorite pair of jeans ever I was 15 when we metYou, a size Junior 13 pair of Arizona brand jeans from JC PenneyWhen I left a pen in you…
April 30, 2020 Shitty poetry when I can’t think straight A word for every place and thing But I don’t make a sound So used to hearing my own voice When there’s no one…
April 29, 2020 The man I love That was what I wrote after meeting the 🦄 in Tucson. The rush of infatuation was overwhelming. It was enough to get me to…
April 28, 2020 So long, Mel Baggs, and thanks for all the good Mel Baggs died. At the age of 39. Please watch the video if you have any curiosity or familiarity with autism. I’m verbal…overly so….
April 28, 2020 Fuck Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs pseudoscience bullshit Here is one of many articles explaining why it’s wrong. People are using this hierarchy right now to justify all sorts of terrible behavior….
April 28, 2020 No song title for this one either I talked to a friend last night. I couldn’t unload because she’s an unemployed author with two kids and a partner who has cancer….
April 27, 2020 No song title this time I can only say it so many ways. I’m losing the battle here in Tucson. I’m losing touch with anything good inside me. And…
April 24, 2020 More I have this thing. It’s not an addiction, per say. More of…a non-constructive self-soothing mechanism I learned from my parents. My parents both have…
April 21, 2020 The beginning is the end is the beginning: my dream about UCB Comedy this morning and the woo woo Bear with me. There be woo woo ahead. I woke up this morning feeling peaceful, which is really fucking great because I’ve been feeling…
April 20, 2020 One, two princes here before you: a boy I once loved and the words I never could Edit: From January Today was was a gorgeous winter day where unexpected help was found, where generosity was touching, and where I realized that…
April 20, 2020 Moonlight, you’re just a heartache in disguise It was a rough day yesterday. I finally broke. When I start acting like this: It’s a last ditch effort to stop feeling like…
April 19, 2020 They say it’s your birthday… I am separated from Gian, my roommate, right now. He’s at our apartment in Brooklyn, celebrating his 27th birthday in our apartment. He’s self-isolating….
April 15, 2020 It’s up to you, New York When I was 11, I went on a gifted school trip to Washington, D.C. It was my first trip to the East Coast. It…
April 15, 2020 Lonesome town article for GHF Dialogue Lonesome Town: How This Gifted Girl Unapologetically Navigates Friendship
April 15, 2020 Moment to myself I’ll post again. I promise. Just give me a moment to myself. I need to regroup and figure out what’s next. Thanks for checking…
April 10, 2020 We are made of our longest days: Bernie Sanders folks, do not despair To my Bernie folks and to your Bernie folks: I know you are disheartened. I understand. You see all the injustices out there and…
April 7, 2020 Something: the Beatles and faith Today is a Beatles kind of day. I didn’t come to faith of my own volition. I am a “man of science.” But…
April 5, 2020 Lean on me Three things: 1. The AirBNB owner came over yesterday and we talked about all the woo woo. She’s a former chemist and statistician. She’s…
April 4, 2020 Money, it’s also a liquid! How about we try to save the economy? Here are my thoughts: the federal government is not suited to direct dissemination of funds to the public. They’re requiring tax returns for verification….
April 3, 2020 First I was afraid, I was petrified I’ve been on a ventilator. It saved my life. And even if I haven’t cured cancer or written the great American novel or married…
April 2, 2020 In my life You know what sounds really good right now? Buying local. Buying American. Employing Americans. Respecting American labor. Treating it like the National resource it…
March 30, 2020 Wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door I have this superstition about New Year’s Eve. I mean, everyone has superstitions about New Year’s Eve. Wear red underwear. Eat 12 grapes. Sweep…
March 29, 2020 Love it if we made it: Matty Healy’s plea for compassion at the O2 Do me a favor and click into the video at 40 minutes in so you can see a speech I saw live on December…
March 27, 2020 Times is hard I can tell you how people act and predict how they will act. I can even tell you why. I don’t just listen to…
March 26, 2020 But it’s all right now, I learned my lesson well I say Cary Elwes was my first big crush, but I already had a thing for Ricky Nelson by that point. Afternoons in front…
March 26, 2020 And now I know ‘Spanish Harlem’ are not just pretty words to say If you want happy, go check out my Instagram stories/feed. There’s plenty there to keep you occupied. This is where I’ve come today to…
March 24, 2020 Gardening at night: fresh produce supply chains in the time of Covid-19 Note: this isn’t to scare you. This is just stuff I have some knowledge of and a good hunch about. My hunches tend to…
March 22, 2020 Living on the edge—how Michael can save the world It feels like the world is having a ‘Come to Jesus’ moment, doesn’t it? Six months ago, people didn’t know what to make of…
March 21, 2020 Ready, steady, go…and all the things she said…on social media That’s virtual Matty Healy. Here’s my Facebook cleanse for anyone who wants to follow. Consult your doctor before engaging. Individual results will vary. 1….
March 20, 2020 Woo hoo, witchy woman I’m writing this only for posterity and to show you maybe how this thing works. I don’t know the future. I just know there’s…
March 19, 2020 Mexican Radio: KMKR ‘Is This On’ with Roxy Merari When I first did Nancy Stanley’s stand up show Estrogen Hour at Laff’s at Tony Paniagua’s suggestion, I didn’t know it would lead to…
March 18, 2020 Got a black magic woman More on the woo woo. But I’ll keep it short this time. So you know that I gave a speech at the U.N. back in…
March 16, 2020 I don’t like going outside so bring me everything here: Problems in the time of Covid-19 First the small and then the big. Small: deliveries from Grove by UPS I just want UPS to deliver my package. Simple, right? It’s…
March 15, 2020 It’s the end of the world as we know it Stick with me for a bit. This one’s a bit of a rollercoaster ride but I think I might have a point. Be prepared…
March 12, 2020 Hot for teacher I took two semesters of English in college needlessly. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. The University of…
March 8, 2020 Good vibrations I want you to know it wasn’t all bad. When I close my eyes and think of safe, it is a peach sherbet golf…
March 8, 2020 I’m leaving on a jet plane This one is really dark. I don’t want you reading this if my retelling of abuse and suicide attempt is going to trigger you….
March 7, 2020 Soup is good food I made butternut squash soup today. It’s was ridiculously easy. Peel, clean and chop a butternut squash. Do the same to a green apple….
March 7, 2020 That thing you do! You can’t just separate the good from the bad in a person. That’s what makes things so confusing. But I like to remember the…
March 6, 2020 I fought the law and I won: Teen Court 1996 Dead Kennedys…aw yeah. Anyway, by the time I was 12, it as pretty much drilled into me that my task in life was to…
March 5, 2020 What are you? Not the border wall. I get this a lot. And there are very few people who can understand. Growing up in Nogales is a unique experience. Nogales is…
March 5, 2020 Character study for later use It is cruel to be kind at times. And the best characters are flawed. —————- She’s eager to please and acts like a Jewish…
March 3, 2020 Ever fallen in love, in love with someone//You shouldn’t have fallen in love with? When you have a blog, you might not know who reads or how they even find you. I’ve been writing here for about a…
March 1, 2020 The honest truth about PTSD Anger is one of those feelings people are funny about it. Women, at least the ones I grew up with, aren’t supposed to get…
March 1, 2020 Open up your heart and let the sunshine in First of all, happy Sunday!!!! Don’t you just love Carol Channing? She was such a ray of sunshine. Every hipster in L.A. would kill…
February 28, 2020 More Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans: being autistic in a neurotypical world The above clip from Selena is something every Mexican-American born after 1975 can quote to you by heart because it sums up our experience…
February 27, 2020 Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock ‘n roll high school The last few weeks of high school were such a blur to me. My high school offered the IB diploma. International Baccalaureate was and…
February 25, 2020 I know he can get the job, but can he do the job? I feel like Dan Hedaya in Joe Versus The Volcano a lot these days. I don’t think people understand there is a difference between…
February 25, 2020 From the vault: Paddling for my life with a hidden disability Note: This originally ran in the online magazine Fierce by Mitù in late 2018, which is why it is heavy handed with the Latina…
February 24, 2020 I heard there was a secret chord: autism, synesthesia, and the dentist You hear the word synesthesia and to you it might mean seeing the color blue when you hear jazz music. That’s cute. I wish…
February 23, 2020 Money for nothing and your chick’s for free Here’s a FB post I wrote two days ago after realizing something: I’m giving myself a lot more permission to say no to people….
February 22, 2020 Betty Crocker, punk rocker I’ve been thinking back a lot lately on who I am. Like, what is it about my past that illustrates who I am. When…
February 22, 2020 Don’t want to be an American idiot Bernie isn’t the Messiah come to lead the revolution. At most he’s a minor prophet. I’ve read upwards of forty articles in the past…
February 21, 2020 You load sixteen tons, what do you get? I don’t understand people when they talk about their jobs. This isn’t a dig at people with every day jobs. It’s an observation. I…
February 19, 2020 I just want to feel something again Edit: Name redacted at request of subject If my posts have been extra negative lately, there’s a reason. I broke it off with XXXX….
February 18, 2020 Barbarism begins at home Hello from the fuck ups. We’re the family members who let you down. Who ruin holidays. Who can be counted on to have messy…
February 17, 2020 Witchy woman I’m really good at making things happen out of thin air. I write them as fiction or just send an intention out into the…
February 15, 2020 She’s a good girl, loves her mama Someone threw me for a loop recently. I showed them my baby book. It’s filled with all the minutia of my least interesting years,…
February 14, 2020 New endeavor with GHF Dialogue Fitz and the Tantrums; or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gift
February 13, 2020 The purge Six days and nights is a lot of time to lay on your back with nothing to occupy your mind. It’s exactly what I…
February 11, 2020 Lonesome town Something happened recently that brought up a whole swell of stuff I did not want to deal with when I’m six days into a…
February 10, 2020 I’m not angry anymore I could tell you all about my fuck ups…and God are there a plethora…but most of them I knew were bad decisions going in….
February 5, 2020 Welcome to my life, tattoo I got this ink in two parts back in 2017. It was part of the process of becoming who I am today. First came…
February 4, 2020 You’re so vain All this talk about JLo at 50 has got me thinking about aging. Aging well, aging gracefully, but most of all aging without apology….
February 3, 2020 Jenny from the block The Super Bowl halftime show got me thinking about my own brush with J.Lo, which would never have happened if I didn’t have bipolar…
January 29, 2020 Fix you Current mood: liberated! What was last night? Probably the best affirmation of putting myself in the path of good things. But first let me…
January 28, 2020 Shit poems and other things you write when you feel like crap When you have nowhere to sleep And you’re lost in the night With no one to keep you safe from fright When the road…
January 27, 2020 Redemption song This Kobe thing has me thinking. Yeah, he was a whiny bitch and he brought the art of flopping in basketball to new heights,…
January 25, 2020 I want to fall asleep to the beat of you breathing Edit: name redacted at request of subject So you know why they want to sleep with me, but let me tell you another reason…
January 21, 2020 Building a mystery Keeper of the flame: back in the day, it was someone’s job to keep a fire stoked for utilitarian and spiritual uses. Figurative keepers…
January 17, 2020 To all the boys I’ve loved before Wow, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? You look good. Really. The boy I liked at seven, Jaime Olaiz the fall of 1993, the…
January 16, 2020 Bad Days Edit: name redacted at request of subject I remember a lot of days growing up when it would just be my dad and me….
January 15, 2020 Now that we’ve found love what are we gonna do with it? January starts with a bang and just keeps going. Everyone has a million projects while dealing with, at a minimum, low grade depression. Try…
